Today’s blog is short. Today’s episode, eh, not so much. But today’s episode is straight from the heart. Unscripted. No lists. No websites to reference. No links to stuff into the end of this post. We recorded today’s episode in the aftermath of the helicopter crash that killed nine people, including Kobe Bryant. We recorded today’s episode the day after Kym’s father passed away. Given the option to go dark for this week, Kym said, “Nope, let’s record,” so we did. We set up in her front porch, overlooking her yard, watching squirrels, birds, and lizards as we talked. We tackled the obvious: loved ones are not guaranteed to us forever and ever. It’s easy enough to believe we’ll have a certain number of years with each other, but the reality is sometimes they leave without any notice. Tell the ones you love, “I love you”, and remind them how much you care about them being in your life. Family, friends, pets. Let them know.
We also ponder how the role we play in people’s lives does not automatically grant us respect – or love. Respect is earned. But love is too. Honestly, there are many layers of love. We love chocolate, yeah? We love weekends. We love our parents and our kids. We love our significant other. We love driving down that long stretch of highway at daybreak. We love our country. We’re told to love everyone because love is the answer and the key to all healing. Right?
Dare we say…some love is earned. Real, deep, true emotional love is so precious – not to be given away frivolously or expect to be handed to us in spite of bad circumstances or behavior. Simply put, not everyone is entitled to this precious connection. And then there’s the fact that none of us love – or grieve – the same way. We adore celebrities we have never met and struggle to find good in a person vitally entangled in our lives. Some may potently feel the loss of a superstar, yet not know exactly how to feel when a family member who has created a lifetime of chaos crosses over. The gamut of emotions in such a situation can sometimes be accompanied by guilt and confusion. “I shouldn’t feel so sad about this celebrity” or “I should feel sadder about my family member.” Nope.
There’s no right way to feel after news of death hits us. There’s possibly a sense of relief, or confusion, hurt, anger, sadness, or sometimes nothing at all in varying stages and degrees. Grief is organic and intimately personal. It takes time to process…though that “time” cannot be dictated by anyone…not even ourselves.
So we just talked. Talked about those 9 souls in the helicopter, talked about Kym’s cantankerous dad, and talked about some of our favorite podcasts. And then, just to lighten things up, Kym sent Kris into on-air spasms of shivers by recounting her most recent arachnid encounter. It’s all pretty typical, just two old friends talking about important things, and about things that aren’t so very important at all – wrapped up in a circular conversation. Such is The Mugly Truth Podcast.
Check out The Mugly Truth Podcast’s episode “Death und Spiders” on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.
And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
How’s your November going? If it’s anything like ours you’re in a mild panic that Christmas is 40ishsumfin days away. In all fairness for us Southern California residents it’s still summer (today will have a high of 80…please visualize your favorite crying emoji here). Well, if mid-November has snuck up on you (or not), today’s episode will help you get caught up on what this month has become synonymous with: gratitude and thankfulness. We found one of those list memes which gives you a topic to be grateful for each day of the month. So of course we cover all 30 days in under 50 minutes.
We won’t spoil the surprise here, but honestly we have to say our favorite part of the entire episode is coining a new species: Snowmanimal. To even figure out how that is something Kym is grateful for, you’ll just have to give the episode a listen.
As for some of the favorites we mention in this episode, please check out the following:
Sean P. Lenahan If you want to be amazed by the illustrative talent of Sean P. Lenahan, please check out his website at http://www.seanplenahan.com/. Even if you’re not a fan of anime-style illustration, just watching Sean’s sped-up process videos is mind-blowing. Plus, he is honestly one of the nicest human beings you will ever meet on this entire planet AND he served in the United States Navy (and continues as a reservist). If you click on only one link in this entire blog article, please make it his. You can also follow him on Instagram and YouTube on his Gutter and Gusher channel.
Bernadette Banner Attention all costumers! Lovers of historical garments! Sewers! Even if you enjoy watching someone with incredible talent and skill…once you’re finished discovering Sean, go on over to Bernadette’s Instagram and YouTube channels and prepare to be amazed at her process of creating historical garments. She takes painstaking care to research and utilize all the legitimate elements, processes, and resources that go into creating garments as they would have been made in their day. This means she works with natural fibers as much as possible, and usually HAND-SEWS or uses her circa 1890’s HAND-CRANK Singer sewing machine. She is lovely, articulate, soft-spoken and quite witty. (Oh, ok, and do yourself a favor and just follow Cathy Hay here and here while you’re at it. You’re welcome. OH and American Duchess Shoes and Royal Vintage too. Ok. We’re done.)
Neiman Marcus Chocolate Chip Cookies Don’t know if this is the exact recipe, but we’re willing to bet since they’re called “Neiman Marcus Chocolate Chip Cookies” and they’re made with ground oats that this is as close as you’re gonna get to Kym’s favorite recipe.
CURRIED Salmon Cakes with Lemon Aioli Sauce Yeah, Kris forgot to mention why this is her favorite go-to recipe. It’s all about the curry. And the lemon of course. Because if you listened you’ll know how Kris feels about lemon.
Heemo Sushi Kym’s favorite “all you can eat” sushi restaurant is called Heemo, and they are in Orange at Tustin Ave. and Katella. You can follow their Facebook page here.
Knowlwood Restaurant Santa Ana Raise a mug to a bygone era of awesome kitschy dining. Kris mentioned Knowlwood’s in Santa Ana closed down and it’s a shame because that was a fun restaurant. The food may have been so-so – with the exception of those Irish Nachos – but the decor made it a nostalgic experience. It’s really a shame. There are, presumably, other stores in Irvine and Anaheim Hills, but the Santa Ana diner was a part of our growing up…we ate there as kids and then took our kids there, so we are sad to say goodbye. By the way…what the HELL is “Old Town Irvine” Do we call things dating way back to the 1970s “old town” now? How is this even possible. This world. This world kills Kris. THERE IS NO OLD TOWN IRVINE. STOP IT NOW.
Benji’s Deli Here’s Benji’s, since we’re on a nostalgic dining kick.
Check out “30 Days of Thankfulness“ episode on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.
And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
We riff off our That’s Purgetastic! episode talking a bit more about shedding material baggage, and then going beyond the physical purge by exploring how to let go of past hurts, unhealthy belief systems, love relationships, and expectations of what we think “should be.”
Kym shares her personal experiences of forgiveness involving her ill father. Kris reveals the painful process of having a parent afflicted with Alzheimer’s as well as how she has navigated the devastation of letting go a significant relationship. It gets a little deep for The Mugly Truth, but that’s ok.
Even though discarding a pair of too-high heels is not the same as letting go the dream of a future with someone, or the pain of a neglected childhood (oooorrrrrr, is it?? Some people are very attached to their shoes coffcoffsexinthecitycoff), the process is actually pretty much the same. It’s about being (sometimes brutally) honest with ourselves and asking how what is being held onto is serving us – is it for good or for bad (because something negative can serve us). Is it something we can let go of now or is it something we are willing to move toward letting go? How long are we willing to traverse the path to freedom? Are we ok with feeling some deep feelings, knowing at the end of the day (or year or five) It’s technically as simple as making a pros and cons list and examining the truth. Except that examining painful truths is not a simple thing. So there’s the element of courage as well. But no pressure.
As a way to help you get started on the “let it go” journey, here’s a link to the Tiny Buddha article called 40 Ways to Leg Go and Feel Less Pain (and be sure to look for that pesky breathing practice Kris couldn’t pronounce: ujayii.)
Check out our “Let It Go” episode on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.
And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
Participate in International Transgender Day of Visibility by asking questions and having an honest conversation.
Today we talk with Terin, a long-time friend who is one of the most inspirational people we know for lots and lots of reasons. She joins us to discuss being the parent of a transgender daughter, and how having Vivian come out was a “non-issue” for their family. International Transgender Day of Visibility is right around the corner (March 31) and we can’t think of a better way to participate.
Unfortunately, as we see every day on the news, on the internet, and on the streets, this loving acceptance of one’s child becoming authentically themselves and empowered is much rarer than it should be. We’re hoping discussions like ours can help add to the awareness about the struggles and accomplishments of men and women (and in some cases, young adults, teens and pre-teens – see below) who have taken the steps to finally be the people they were born to be in the face of hatred, ridicule, violence, and often rejection by the people who are supposed to love them the most: their families and friends.
According to www.healthychildren.org, the development of gender identity in kids naturally occurs when children are very young. Kids label themselves as boy or girl by the age of three and have a strong sense of their gender identity by four, usually showing their gender preference through the type of clothes they want to wear, hair styles, etc. As gender stereotypes dissolve, the colors, clothing, styles, and even toys that are typically assigned “boy” or “girl” are changing. For parents who simply want a healthy, happy child, it’s important to know kids naturally are curious and might express themselves in different ways at different times. It’s important to allow them to navigate through the stages of this development.
Happy healthy children grow up to be happy healthy adults. We need more of both.
As for us, we have never had an issue with our bodies (save for the usual suspects, “my butt’s too big!” “I hate my stomach!” and “I wish I was taller!”) and have always loved being women, never had any thought of being anything else. The concept of being a woman trapped in the body of a man (or a man trapped in a woman’s body) is so far removed from our psyche, it’s almost impossible to wrap our heads around how utterly miserable it must be – every single day and night – to struggle with knowing you are definitely a specific person but looking like someone you aren’t. It’s hard enough to feel comfortable in your own skin, let alone your own structure. This is the crux of our awkwardness with the topic. It has nothing to do with acceptance, that’s not the problem. It’s that we are so rooted in our own natural acceptance of our birth body that it never dawned on us there could be any other way to feel.
We want to learn and understand better. So we asked…what IS cis-gender (we are, turns out), binary/non-binary, gender-fluid? How do you refer to a transgender person if you aren’t sure (hint: even though it might be awkward, asking outright is usually the easiest way to set things on the right track). How did the rest of the family take the transition? What’s politically correct to say or talk about? What are the biggest struggles? What was the hormone therapy process like? What was it like to come up with a new name? What happens if you have to go to the bathroom? (Vivian’s reality regarding this basic need that most of us take for granted was unjust and awful.) And if you need help, where do you turn to for support and answers? (Another hint: GLAAD.org is a great starting point). We also learn the best answer a parent can give to the question, “will your child have gender reassignment surgery?”
Justice, equality and awareness is in our hands.
We know it’s really difficult for some people to understand. We get it. Whether the discomfort is based on religious beliefs, politics, or personal fear of what isn’t one’s norm, it is difficult to face any level of change. Either in others or ourselves, let alone a change as radical as gender transition. But the truth is, this world desperately needs happy, authentic humans. The more we cut down what we don’t understand…either through violence or cruelty…the more base and inhumane we become. If a person – a fundamentally good and civil soul – is of a religion, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or identity that doesn’t match someone’s expectations of what is “right” or “normal” who exactly is anyone to determine that? Why? The fact is, for every one person who stands firm and resolute in their belief system, there is another person standing equally firm and resolute in their opposing beliefs. As long as people keep focused on only one possible outcome, only one possible reality, we will all only be just standing angrily, shouting, pointing and name calling, in the name of a so-called “truth” and nothing changes. Nothing resolves. Nothing heals. Any man, woman or child who dares to stand in their own power in the face of hatred is a hero in our book. Any man, woman or child who dares face their own failings to show acceptance, tolerance or respect toward someone they once viewed as “too different”…is also a hero. Someday hopefully it will just be normalinstead of heroic.
It is our hope to talk to Vivian, get her story first hand. We’ve heard her mom’s story, so hopefully we can do justice to Viv’s. Terin is an amazing mom, a woman who has struggled through some tough times, like many. Her cellular makeup is one of non-bias, peace, and acceptance. She admits her own learning curves when it comes to the transgender community while embracing the “normalness” of her child becoming happy and healthy through the transition process. As for Vivian, she is a delightful person who has a story to tell and we are honored to record it. Hopefully that episode will be coming in the next few weeks.
Until then, here are some people we’d like you to know more about:
Janae Marie Kroczaleski, ex marine, cancer survivor, 2006 Arnold Classic WPO Powerlifting Middle Weight Champion, 2009 All-Time World Record setter in the 220lb class (surpassed in 2010), parent to three amazing boys, advocate for transgender athletes, author, and current subject of the Netflix documentary “TransFormer.” The show chronicles Janae’s biggest journey in reconciling her passion for power lifting with the body it gave her…a body she did not envision for herself as a woman. She discusses the documentary in this YouTube video. You can also follow her on Instagram to keep up with her inspirational story.
Jazz Jennings, one of the youngest people to publicly come out as transgender, and interviewed by Barbra Walters on 20/20 in 2007. Jazz is a YouTube sensation and at only 17 is an internationally recognized advocate for LGBTQ rights. She is the star of TLC’s, reality series “I am Jazz” which documents the life of the teenager and her family.
Amber Briggle of Denton, Texas, USA. Mom to two amazing kids, Amber documents the daily life of her family, including her son Max who made it very clear at a young age that the female anatomy he was born with was not who he truly was. Amber shares candidly about the struggles her son faces going to school, and growing up in a notoriously conservative region of the United States. Get onboard with this mamabear at her website https://love-to-the-max.com/ .
If you haven’t watched Schitt’s Creek yet, you’re missing out. All the Canadian comedy royalty (Catherine O’Hara, you are our queen) aside, Dan Levy – Yep, Eugene Levy’s drop-dead gorgeous, wickedly funny son – has created some of the most hilarious, romantic, and memorable scenes between his character, David Rose, and David’s boyfriend Patrick (played by Noah Reid).
If you want to know about more amazing people who, against major societal pushback, became who they truly were born to be, there are some pretty cool stories that span almost 100 years in this time.com article, and in this Pri.org article.
Check out our “Transgender Awareness” episode on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.
And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
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