If you don’t know what SHTF means, let us illustrate for you. You’re at work. The printer cannot, despite repeated jabs of the print button, spit out the report you need for a meeting that started two minutes ago. A seething eff-bomb makes its way from your lips as you slap the printer. Your highly conservative CEO walks past you at this moment. The day continues in this vein. For Lawdy’s sake, it’s 5pm, clock out. Every red light ever ever ever – including a new one they just installed between 8am and 4:49pm – mocks you. Finally open it up to a raging 27 mph as a swarm of insects finds your windshield. Remember you should have filled that wiper fluid when it ran out yesterday. Pick up child from daycare 20 minutes late. Pay $30. A road construction zone is ahead. Back to 12 mph. Ahhhaahahaha, eventually, home. Blissfully ignorant of the screw in your tire, cross the threshold of your sanctuary with a deeply tired exhalation, aka a big sigh. Know your couch, a cold drink and Netflix are only moments away. Suddenly behold the masterpiece that your cat, if she could talk in French, would call Papier de Toilette Apocalypse, Redux (if that’s not how to say Toilet Paper Apocalypse Redux in French, blame Google translate). Your dog is now trying to hump the cat. Cat throws some seriously sweet haymakers. Make a sound somewhere between hysterical laughter and whimpering as you separate your insane-ass pets with a broom and the only spray bottle immediately at hand: Febreze Air Bora Bora. Turn around to discover your child now has a face reminiscent of Jackson Pollock‘s Number 18 because SHARPIES at toddler level and you took your eyes off him for TWO MINUTES FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. Ask Alexa to reorder your Postmates from the night before (Author note: can Alexa do that? If not it should totally be a thing). Futilely scrub screaming toddler. Postmates driver calls to say he has a flat tire because he ran over a screw in a construction zone on the way.
That is what we call Shit Hitting The Fan. It’s not stuff that’s earth-shattering or life-altering. It’s just…tiring. Overwhelming. It’s…it’s A DAY. And you’re done with it.
And then the Universe says, “but wait…there’s more…hold my craft ale please.”
Well, that’s the kind of days (yes, plural) that Kym was having, right up to when we recorded today’s episode. So even though we had a topic (which we eventually get around to), we sat down and just…talked. Talked about it all: Kym’s mom’s major surgery, Kym’s own stint in the ER, Kris’s paranoia about her daughters going hiking, how Kris and her daughter did a full-blown Chinese Fire Drill in the middle of rush hour traffic so Kris could break all speed laws to get to Kym’s house for a damned good reason. Hey now. Listen first, judge later. And this is the point where the Universe said that whole thing about , “hold my drink, etc., etc., etc.” Let’s just say the parts about a pissed cat, and a humping dog are based in reality. So when we say today’s episode is “A Study In Chaos,” when you give it a listen you’ll understand we know what we’re talking about.
Check out our “When SHTF: A Study In Chaos” episode on iTu.nes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.
And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
On today’s episode of The Mugly Truth, we talk (well, Kris kind of rants actually) about the effects of social media on adults, teens and kids. See, being products of 70’s and 80’s we remember life without instant answers, not knowing when a message is received, and having a small circle of friends vs 5,000. Back then, we had to go to the library, or crack open an encyclopedia (which was so expensive to boot!), or ask mom and dad for the answer to our questions (and hope they knew). To connect with friends we had to dial a landline (God help you if you had a rotary dial still) and then hope they were home…letting it ring and ring and ring ad nauseum – that is until the magic of the answering machine became a household game-changer around 1984. We’d pass paper notes in class and hope the teacher wouldn’t catch them mid-transmission and worst luck…read them out loud.
If we couldn’t hang out after school, we would make plans to watch MTV at the same time and then talk on the phone for hours as we watched and sang along with our favorite band’s latest videos. Woe to the poor person trying to reach our parents. They would just have to keep trying or give up in frustration from the incessant buzz of the busy signal since call waiting was still pretty newfangled. We personally didn’t have home computers as kids (though others did), hell, we were still marveling over the concept of using a cable box and recording movies on a Vee-Cee-Arr. The closest thing we got to instant photos was using a Polaroid camera, mix tapes were literally recorded from the radio or a record player using a cassette tape recorder, and we listened to those sweet jams later on our Sony Walkmans. We could sit for hours in a quiet corner to read a book for the fiftieth time, but we would have to wait a month for the latest celebrity gossip, makeup tips and photos of our boy-band crushes to be revealed in our teen magazines like Tiger Beat, Seventeen and Bop. Once we started driving, we had a Thomas Brothers map thrown into the back of the car somewhere…usually on the floor behind the passenger seat. And if our car broke down? We’d better have enough change to call Dad (or Automobile Club) from a payphone.
Those.
Were.
The.
Days.
Sort of.
Nowadays…it’s all literally at our fingertips. Knowledge, fellowship, support, photos of loved ones, status updates…face-to-face video chatting just like we watched on Star Trek and Star Wars! It’s all just hanging out in our back pocket, purse or desktop 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s there next to us as we sleep, ready to wake us up for work and then perched somewhere nearby feeding us amazing podcasts (ahem), audiobooks and playlists to get us through our daily grind. We’ve seen the rise of YouTube where anyone can be a worldwide “tv” star in a show of one’s own making. When you’re tired of watching your millionth tutorial, you can binge a favorite blast from the past or latest sensation (and Kris does) whenever and wherever you want – depending on how much money you want to shell out for any combination of Netflix, Hulu, Prime Video, and a la carte cable channel apps. We can watch our favorite movie or tv show or sporting event sitting on a bus heading to work. And if we forget the name of that actor in that movie? Google’s got it.
Want to know how long it will take to drive from point A to point B IN ANOTHER COUNTRY? We can look that up in less than a minute. Want to watch your kid drive from point A to point B on a Saturday night next town over? There’s an app somewhere that can help you do that (Black Mirror, anyone)? Speaking of family and friends…it’s amazing how we can see what our loved ones are doing and feeling and who they’re with, even what they’re eating. Whatever they want to share, we can share with them (if their settings allow) in almost real time. Admittedly, this is sometimes to the detriment of our stomach contents (photos of severed fingers and surgery sutures and compound fractures are disgusting…please stop. Please. JUST. STAHP.) If our significant other doesn’t answer the phone, we can leave a voicemail and then send a text to cover the bases. But God forbid we get left unread. Them’s the biggest fightin’ words never spoken or typed.
Chances are unless you are someone who completely lives off the grid (though doubtful since you’re reading this), you have experienced a level of connection like all or some of what we’ve described. You may also have experienced the frustration of the quagmire of political rants clogging your news feeds. Your blood pressure may have risen once or twice (a day or hour) just reading comments from trolls in another clickbait article. Have you ever gotten so riled about a posted story your friend says is true only to discover, thanks to sites like Snopes.com, that the story was literally crap? Yeah. Us too. We have gotten so wrapped up in this miraculous link to the world that we are getting trapped in the FOMO phenomenon (fear of missing out), sometimes absent-mindedly picking up our phone and checking Twitter or Instagram or Snapchat a couple minutes after swiping the apps shut. We try to put the phones away when friends and family sit in front of us, but inevitably we sneak a peek to check What’s App. Or we whip it out to snap that delightful dinner. Or answer that damned question, “WHO was that actor???”
We talk about the good and the bad of social media in this episode…like we said, we love and hate the internet. But mostly we can’t picture living without this connection we have (now that we’ve had it), and we look forward to future technology that will make it even better. We just can’t lose sight of the real world around us. We cannot compare ourselves to the perfection we see on Instagram. We must continue to always understand what we read on a screen is what people present to us to be seen. Like the old saying our folks imparted to us all those years ago, before all this began, “don’t believe everything you read” Oh…and, “don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides.” Mom and dad told us a lot of great stuff.
Remembering this will remind us that the most beautiful, lovely, wonderful things we could possible experience are the eyes of our loved ones, the sound of their laughter…the clouds and sun and fresh air of a perfectly normal day while birds fly across the sky and dogs bark at us from the other side of a fence. We know…sounds like a bunch of sappy crap. Well, maybe Ernest Cline said it better:
“That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it’s also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real.” ― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One
Check out our “Effects of Social Media” episode on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.
And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
How overwhelmed with politics, bad news, and violence have you become? If you’re anything like us you need a really large dose of HAPPY, stat. Fortunately we are super glad to be able to oblige you with a bunch of feel-good stories including the miracle of a late-night call to a wrong number; a toddler gone missing in a hurricane found alive and well; a school helping their students get clean clothes. We go on to highlight four big stories found on a fantastic website called Good News Network (synopsis and links below). You need to be inspired? GNN has it all wrapped up in an “Good News/Inspiring” tab for you to get your feelz on. Want to shop sustainably or give back as you receive? There’s a Good Gifts section to lighten your wallet with little or no guilt! Want to get involved? Click that Get Involved tab to get started. We can’t extol the virtues of this much-needed website enough.
Ahem. Sidenote. Remember last week’s noisy leafblower mess we fought to record through? Yeah, Enrique the gardener and his trusty leafblower are back. BUT!! GOOD NEWS!! (ha… hahahaha…. BWAHAHAHHA how easy was THAT?) You won’t know just how much Kris lost her mind because we managed to edit most of it out. If you can get through the first 2 minutes of the episode, we promise you will not be sorry because Enrique finally settles down and the birds chirp in the background once again and the real meat and potatoes of the episode are related sans-annoying whirring machine. Ahhhhh….all is right with the Universe yet again.
The first story is an article on Good News Network called, “Epic New Trail Will Allow Cyclists and Hikers to Travel 3,700 Miles Across America From Coast to Coast“ which is about a proposal to create a 3,700 mile hiking/biking trail that spans America from Washington, D.C., to Washington state. It will utilize about 50% of pre-existing trails and fill the gaps to make this the coolest – and longest – unbroken trail in the states. The Rails-to-Trails Conservancy (RTC) has been working on the initiative for about a year now, and needs 1,000,000 pledges to help this trail become a reality. We’re all about anything that unites anything AND gets people off their couches, out of their houses and doing good things for themselves with friends. WOOHOO! And of course, Kris has a dark-side take on this story, but you’ll have to listen to find out what it is. Oh, and then there’s her attempt at a Scottish accent. #cringe #eyeroll. For more information on the Countryside and Rights of Way Actin Great Britain, check here.
Story #2: Gardeners Unite Globally for Pollinators
Another way to help bees is to provide sugar water to grounded bees. To avoid a scenario like Kris’ attempt as described in the episode, there’s this handy Bee Savior Card you can carry and use to aid the next little buzzer you see struggling to survive.
Photo by Markus Spiske temporausch.com on Pexels.com
The next article we found on GNN is called, “Charity Has Been Secretly Fulfilling Small Wishes for Homeless Kids Who Could Use the Self-Esteem Boost,” highlighting a non-profit organization called Alice’s Kids which provides short-term financial assistance for immediate needs of children living at low- or poverty-level income. Relying on a network of social workers, counselors and teachers to guide them, Alice’s Kids makes anonymous donations, allowing parents to provide for their children’s needs with dignity. Please follow Alice’s Kids on Instagram, Twitter, Youtube, and Facebook. Please share this information and considering donating. In this day and age these “small actions” make the HUGEST impact.
Story #4: Girls Save Dad’s Barber Shop & Shave Stereotypes
This one packs a huge punch as well. The article,“They Disguised Themselves As Boys in Order to Pay the Bills, Now ‘Barbershop Girls’ of India Given Scholarships,” tells the story of Neha and Jyoti, from the Banwari Tola village in Uttar Pradesh, India. When their barber father fell ill, the likelihood of them sustaining the business (and paying medical bills and funding their education) as women was slim, so in a major act of gender stereotype middle-finger flinging, they disguised themselves as men and then proceeded to very successfully run the barbershop. Gilette (yes, THAT company) then stepped in, and with the help of cricket star Sachin Tendulkar, delivered scholarships to the girls for their education. Check out Sachin’s awesome take on it all on his Instagram page. To view the video Kris talks about, you can watch on the GNN link above. Unfortunately a link to the video on YouTube showed it as unavailable. #ShavingStereotypes.
For more stories and details, check out our “Good News” episode on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.
And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
In what is probably the loudest episode we’ve ever recorded (yes even more than the construction going on below Kris’ apartment), today we have kind of an inception-style show going on. While we were talking about how having expectations can be realistic or unrealistic, with either negative or positive outcomes depending on one’s perspective, there was a gardener doing his job on the property next door, using a leaf-blower as he got closer and closer to us. Literally, as we discuss how important it is to roll with the punches, Kris was losing her ever-loving mind in pure frustration while the constant whine of his equipment neared. Based on previous recordings in the same spot the expectation was that there would be nice ambient noises in the background…birds chirping, dogs barking, an occasional car or airplane. Boy did we have our “walk the talk” tested!! In the end, in post production the noise level was brought way down and the content of the episode was saved.
All in all some good points were made along the way. The biggest takeaway from this week’s epidode:
“Expectations are premeditated resentments.” Oooh. That’s a tough one to digest! But it’s so true!
It’s inhumane to expect another human being to fulfill you. Another person can enhance your happiness, but if you’re not happy with yourself, that other person isn’t going to do it for you.
Hope and expectation have a bit of a crowbar difference between the two, in our humble opinion. Hope seems to have a bit of a readiness to accept an outcome either way. Expectations seem more concrete. Which can leave room for disappointment.
Basing our happiness on the outcome of an expectation is a tricky game to play. Realistic expectations are good – they are based on past experiences that help us believe Doing A = B (like turning on a lightswitch illuminates a room or having that morning cup of coffee brings a sense of ahhhhhhhhhhhhh).
On the other hand, unrealistic expectations are based more in magical thinking, and can be quite damaging. Unreasonable expectations can cause low morale, low self-esteem, and damage relationships. Hey, we’re not citing any specific statement, article, or doctoral paper…we’re talking from personal experience! Trust us.
If you spend time worrying about something, you’re putting yourself through it TWICE. HullOOOO.
If someone says no, it’s because the request made of them does not fulfill their needs and wants at that time – it has nothing to do with the requestor, i.e., don’t take it personally.
Humans are…human. Flawed. We need to give ourselves a break, chill out…forgive ourselves and others when the occasional “failure to comply” occurs. Because it will.
And, in the words of our wonderful Kym, just because someone doesn’t text you back right away doesn’t mean they’re ignoring you…it could just mean they’re pooping. Or, you know, doing other things. Hey, she said it.
Overcoming negative thoughts with positive thinking is vital in maintaining a good, daily mindset. Positive thoughts coupled with action can have powerful results.
Next time someone or some situation doesn’t live up to your expectations, take a moment to reflect…step away – mentally – and try to take in the whole picture. Is it worth yelling, getting angry, frustrated, sad, or resentful? Is it something you can accept and move on from? Learn from? Self reflection and acceptance doesn’t make anyone a doormat. It helps us grow. It helps guide us in making decisions about the people or situation that we are coping with. It also helps prevent knee-jerk reactions that could make the outcome worse.
The Psychology Today article, The Psychology of Expectations by John A. Johnson, PhD., is located here.
Check out our “The Expectation Trap” episode on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.
And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
Have you ever had a day where, on the whole it is quite wonderful, but just under the surface everything seems just a tad…off? The juxtaposition of great weather, being outdoors in the fresh air with family and friends, eating great food and having no pressures or stress weighing you down but mixed with just a hint of, “mhmmm that’s weird”? Yeah, that was Saturday.
Meet Mooch the Mugly Truth Mascot! Photo courtesy Kristen Core. All rights reserved.
May has been such a busy month (only a couple weeks in, but it seems like a full one already), we decided to do a catch-up episode. Kris went to Canada on business, The Mugly Truth has a new mascot (Kym’s new Mini Australian Shepherd named MOOCH!), Kris’ oldest is driving, her youngest made cheer squad going into high school, we’ve been bingeing amazing new podcasts, documentaries, audiobooks, and t.v. shows….SO MUCH to talk about!!
Our lovely view while we record. Seriously wonderful. Photo courtesy Kristen Core. All rights reserved.
So we settled down under a lovely oak tree, chattered gleefully about all the things – completely topic-less – wrapped the episode, and started packing up the equipment only to discover the recording was useless. USE. LESS. #SIGH. Our producer/audio technician (ummmmm, KRIS) failed to notice the mics weren’t running to the recording software, blah, blah, blah (really, no need to go into details). Let’s just say it was an inauspicious start to what would become a kind of bizarre day.
Ah well, shite happens, eh? We shrugged it off as exactly that, made plans to regroup in three hours and went separate ways for nourishment. Oh the things that can happen in three hours. You can hear Kris recount channeling her best foul-mouthed New Yorker spirit outside the local Hobby Lobby upon discovering two very large (seriously, at least 6′ 5″) dudes being vurrrrrry interested in the contents of her car. For whatever reason, her 5′ 1″ self with 10′ tall East Side attitude (aided by 16 oz of Vietnamese coffee) managed to shoo them away without incident. On second thought, that probably doesn’t sound so weird depending on where you might live, but at the time it was not something one expects to have to cope with whilst leaving the secondary house of the Lord with a bag full of craft paints and resin decorative items scored at 50% off.
Perhaps the oddest event of the entire day was the first stop for Kris and the kids getting lunch…parking in an everyday parking lot of a typical busy strip mall in a (fairly) quiet, (fairly) mundane little suburb town in Southern California…basically a spot one doesn’t usually come across evil symbols of hate, yet there it was. A swastika, written in what looked to be red lipstick on the hood of a pretty, white new(ish) car. Just sitting there. A Nazi f**king swastika. Initial reaction? Photo posted to Facebook with a rant about #noH8.
Do you know the difference between a hate-filled swastika and a swastik that means this car runs well? Kris didn’t. At first. Photo courtesy Kristen Core. All rights reserved.
That’s when a friend posted in the kindest way stating while it might LOOK like the wretched Nazi emblem, the way it was written didn’t match how the Nazis used the swastika (tilted to the right). He further pointed out there was a figurine on the dashboard that appeared to be Hindu (or perhaps Buddhist) and that the symbol was ancient, used in other societies, religions and cultures as a sign of good luck or divinity. In Sanskrit, the word swastika is a combination of ‘su’ (meaning ‘good’) and ‘asti’ (meaning ‘to exist’). After researching a bit, we’ve found a couple really good articles, one actually being this Quora forum which provides all the information you could want to know about why someone might draw a swastika on their car. And maybe why they shouldn’t do it in such a blatant spot. It’s worth reading all the answers. Then there’s this BBC article about the symbol, some group’s efforts to revitalize the true meaning of the swastika, and why it is highly unlikely anyone is going to be able to get past how any iteration is seen as representing the highly effed-up and hateful ideology of Hitler (and later Charles Manson who carved it on to his own forehead).
Purty painted rocks. Visit OrangeTustinRocks on Instagram for more! Photo courtesy Kristen Core. All rights reserved.
By the end of the day (literally) everything turned out to be an amazing kickoff to a wonderful Mother’s Day (oh yeah, that happened too!)…we got the recording done right the second time around. New things had been learned and shared. We then sat and talked more with Kym’s folks, Kris’ girls painted more rocks. The barbecue was started and really good food was consumed as the sun set, the breeze calmed, and the owls and mockingbirds serenaded little Mooch to sleep (again).
Check out our “Mugly MayAhem” episode on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.
And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
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