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Summertime Clues

Today’s episode “Summertime Clues” is on  iTunes/Apple PodcastsSpotifyOvercastLibsynPocket CastStitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts.

Why did we call today’s episode “Summertime Clues”? Because if you listen you’ll discover we have no clue about anything in today’s show! We start of with such a great topic: The End of Summer. And we quickly derail just by talking about watermelon. Watermelon derailed us. Listen. You’ll get it. How could anyone not be confused by watermelon? We’re still baffled. And slightly unnerved. Even Google left us with more questions than answers. For shame Google. So, yeah, we talk about some interesting summer and August facts but for every new thing we tried to learn it seemed like we left with more stuff we needed to find out. We left the episode clueless. Ergo the title of the show. But redemption is here!! Thank goodness for this blog. Because the summertime clues blues have been cured! We have answers! We love the interwebs.

Does Hobby Lobby Sell Halloween Decorations?

Why yes, HL does sell Halloween decorations! HL definitely does not turn it’s back on guaranteed profit so gladly gives the public plenty of cute Halloween decor to choose from. Who knew? (DUH. Not us. Obviously.) For more details, check out Hobby Lobby’s website. But if you are into the horror, gory, gross stuff, sorry, you won’t find it. But because we are so excited about shopping for Halloween (and it is our pleasure to help you find that perfect witch, skeleton or spooky ghoul over the next month – yes, people, you only have one more month until OCTOBER) here are a bunch more opportunities to find what you want:
Target
Walmart
Michael’s
Home Depot
Lowes
Amazon
Spirithalloween.com

Tenant vs. Tenet vs. Tennant

Kris knows these words are not only pronounced differently, they mean different things, and also she knows what they each mean. But occasionally Kris’ mouth and brain do not sync up, therefore when she thought “tenet,” she said “tenant.” It happens to the best of people. But mostly a lot to Kris. Just in case you were wondering:
Ten·et  /ˈtenət/ (noun) : a principle or belief, especially one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy.
Ten.ant /ˈtenənt/ (noun) : a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.
Speaking of lords…
Ten.nant /ˈtenənnt/ (noun) : an actor, especially known for portraying the Doctor in Doctor Who, Barty Crouch Jr. in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and Demon Crowley in Good Omens, also referred to as David Tennant.

We’ll Take What is an Inflatable Snowman for $200

Kris was talking about putting a snowman decoration on her balcony for Christmas, but worried the neighbor would be pissed off. Just in case you were wondering – because, again, the thoughts in the head don’t seem to want to come to the mouth part of communication – that whole part of what kind of snowman would piss off the neighbor sort of disappeared into the ether. That would be an INFLATABLE snowman. Inflatable lawn decorations = motors = annoying noise = angry neighbor = no inflatable decorations on Kris’ balcony ever. Please note that very important keyword “lawn”…this is a big clue as to who should actually invest in those things.

Are We Heading for a Warm Winter?

We ponder if having a mild summer means we’ll have a hotter autumn and winter or will it be colder? According to this website, it’s pretty much impossible to tell, so, yeah, if you’re hoping for your autumn/winter seasons to be predicted by the kind of summer we’ve had, you’re going to have to wait til it gets here like the rest of us. Seriously read the article. The folklore behind some of the methods of predicting weather are hilarious and the author has fun describing them.

What Are the Days Between End of Summer and Beginning of Fall Called?

We still don’t know! But the British tabloid The Sun just might shed some…ah…sunlight on the whole reason why it seems there are a couple days between the end of summer and beginning of fall. See what we did there? We couldn’t help it. It was right there. WAITING to be said. The British like a good pun. Hey if you’re British and you liked that pun leave us a comment. Oh, here’s the article.

Is Watermelon a Fruit or a Vegetable?

Yep. Here we go. Well, it’s both, but if you’re from Oklahoma, you know watermelon is the OFFICIAL VEGETABLE of OKLAHOMA (if we could also underline that bold italic we would). Oklahoma. Ok.LA.Ho.MA! We don’t understand. Well, we do, it’s just…why? Couldn’t you have picked something less enigmatic? Why not something like…(thinking)…you know what, we don’t even know what’s real anymore, so fine. FINE. Watermelon’s a vegetable. Pluto isn’t a planet. Have your vegetable fruit melon. Have it. The upside to all of this malarkey is that if mom says “EAT YOUR VEGETABLES!” you can go slice a hunk of watermelon, eat it, and throw some gnarly trivia back at her that you DID eat your vegetable and you LIKED it even. Wipe your dripping mouth covered in watermelon lies on your shirtsleeve and then spit those seeds that aren’t fruit on the ground for emphasis. Watermelon is a vegetable. We just…we can’t…we…completely…no words…. But here’s a link to find out wayyyy more than you ever thought was possible to know about watermelon.

First Women’s Bathing Suits Were Made From…

…Wool or flannel. Because nothing says refreshing seaside shenanigans like 20 pounds of wet, stinky wool clinging to your body. We’re wondering how many women drowned from being dragged beneath the waves in such heavy neck-to-knee (or in the 1800’s, neck-to-ankle) swimwear. Thank goodness for the Olympics in the early 1900s, which made intercollegiate swimming an official sport and shone a spotlight on the unwieldy dysfunction of the woolen suits (for men and women). For more information on women’s bathing suit history, this is a nifty article.

Can Metal Fillings in Your Mouth Attract Lightning?

Well, if you’re old enough to have amalgam fillings still, your bigger concern should be the amount of mercury toxins that have been leaking into your body all these years. Seriousy, get those removed and replaced, stat. But as for lightning striking you because of those nasty metal fillings? It’s pretty much a no-go. We’re 99.9% sure of that because we couldn’t find an answer on the first page of the Google search, but we did find this entertaining thread in response to a question asking if lightning striking you would weld your teeth together because of those fillings. Again, we’re thinking if you’re hit by lightning, there are so many other things you’ll be worrying about. Like, breathing, living, etc. Oh, here’s the CNN video of the guy almost getting hit by lightning, and a link about the guy who got hit twice (spoiler alert: fake video. Sorry Kym).

What’s a Cross-Quarter Day?

There is SO much to answer this seemingly simple question. In a nutshell, cross-quarter days have pagan origins, are associated with fire, and are usually celebrated with festivals. Imbolc, Beltane, Lammas, and Samhain (halloooo Halloween!) are cross-quarter days. For details, read this great article on Cross-Quarter Days (and Quarter-days too. Don’t ask. We are linked-out).

What is an Indian Summer?

Is Kris right or is Kym right? Drumroll please: Well, we were both on the right track. An Indian Summer is a period of unusually dry, warm weather occurring in late autumn. It also means a period of happiness or success occurring late in life. We like that version and are rooting for our own personal Indian Summers happening sooner than later.

What Does .ws Mean in a URL?

It is the internet country code for Samoa. Sleep well dear friends.

Crepuscular (and Kris May be Psychic)

This is weird. In the episode as Kris tries desperately to pronounce the word crepuscular, she states (we are paraphrasing), “this is blog entry number 12” and IT IS! Go ahead. You know you’re going to count them. We’ll wait.

See? Anyway, welcome back. Kris is PSYCHIC! Or, maybe her brain does math subconsciously and she really is a numbers genius but doesn’t know it. Either way, CREPUSCULAR is pronounced kreh-pUSk-yooler and it means “of, resembling, or relating to twilight”. Please, use in a sentence. Ok. “Team Edward and Team Jacob fans are crepuscular” No? Drat.

Aside: the girl who says the word in the Google Dictionary sounds kind of creepy. Sorry crepuscular girl. We know you’re just trying to earn a living. But your voice is actually perfect for the word, so, clap clap clap clap clap.

Abolition of Slavery

Yes, Kris, “abolition” is the word you were looking for. And let’s all just take a moment to say HELL YEAH 13th AMENDMENT!

Ah Ah Ah Ah Stayin’ Alive Goat Swagger

For the record, we’re sorry if you Googled Goats Stayin’ Alive and found this video. Although we’re not really that sorry because screaming goats are hilarious.

Chewbacca Mom

And our last but totally favorite shoutout goes to Candace Payne, aka Chewbacca Mom! Here’s her website if you’re as much a fan of her pure joy and love of Chewie as we are.
Added bonus! Here’s the video that started it all:

Here’s another video of an interview a year later in which she discusses making the viral video and how it changed her life for the better.

Finally…here’s some photos of the decorations Kris bought for bringing on the Autumnness:

Here’s Mooch the Pooch’s tush which shows either a Batman or a Motorola insignia. You be the judge. Let us know in the comments below.

Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh BATASS! Mooch is either a spokesdog for Batman or Motorola…you decide.

And the candid moment Kris caught Rocky the Podcat contemplating life whilst sitting on a scale staring at the wall. Raise your hand if you relate. Also, we wish more than anything in the world she captured Rocky actually staring AT the wall. Hey, does anyone notice a pattern with Kris and Kym’s animals looking at walls? Just wondering if you’re seeing it too.

Sorry Rocky. I posted this on Instagram. No way I’m not posting this here too. Love you!

Check out our “Summertime Clues” episode on  iTunes/Apple Podcasts, SpotifyOvercast, Libsyn, Pocket CastStitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.

And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

© The Mugly Truth 2019 and © The Mugly Truth Podcast 2019. All rights reserved.
Intro and outro music, “Clever as a Fox”  by Espresso Music through premiumbeats.com.
Feature Sunflower photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
Mooch the Pooch photo by Kym Wagner, © Kym Wagner 2019. All rights reserved.
Rocky the Podcat photo by Kris Core, © Kris Core 2019. All rights reserved
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Episodes

When SHTF: A Study in Chaos

Today’s episode is on  iTunes/Apple PodcastsSpotifyOvercastLibsynPocket CastStitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts.

If you don’t know what SHTF means, let us illustrate for you. You’re at work. The printer cannot, despite repeated jabs of the print button, spit out the report you need for a meeting that started two minutes ago. A seething eff-bomb makes its way from your lips as you slap the printer. Your highly conservative CEO walks past you at this moment. The day continues in this vein. For Lawdy’s sake, it’s 5pm, clock out. Every red light ever ever ever – including a new one they just installed between 8am and 4:49pm – mocks you. Finally open it up to a raging 27 mph as a swarm of insects finds your windshield. Remember you should have filled that wiper fluid when it ran out yesterday. Pick up child from daycare 20 minutes late. Pay $30. A road construction zone is ahead. Back to 12 mph. Ahhhaahahaha, eventually, home. Blissfully ignorant of the screw in your tire, cross the threshold of your sanctuary with a deeply tired exhalation, aka a big sigh. Know your couch, a cold drink and Netflix are only moments away. Suddenly behold the masterpiece that your cat, if she could talk in French, would call Papier de Toilette Apocalypse, Redux (if that’s not how to say Toilet Paper Apocalypse Redux in French, blame Google translate). Your dog is now trying to hump the cat. Cat throws some seriously sweet haymakers. Make a sound somewhere between hysterical laughter and whimpering as you separate your insane-ass pets with a broom and the only spray bottle immediately at hand: Febreze Air Bora Bora. Turn around to discover your child now has a face reminiscent of Jackson Pollock‘s Number 18 because SHARPIES at toddler level and you took your eyes off him for TWO MINUTES FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. Ask Alexa to reorder your Postmates from the night before (Author note: can Alexa do that? If not it should totally be a thing). Futilely scrub screaming toddler. Postmates driver calls to say he has a flat tire because he ran over a screw in a construction zone on the way.

That is what we call Shit Hitting The Fan. It’s not stuff that’s earth-shattering or life-altering. It’s just…tiring. Overwhelming. It’s…it’s A DAY. And you’re done with it.

And then the Universe says, “but wait…there’s more…hold my craft ale please.”

Photo by Luan Oosthuizen on Pexels.com

Well, that’s the kind of days (yes, plural) that Kym was having, right up to when we recorded today’s episode. So even though we had a topic (which we eventually get around to), we sat down and just…talked. Talked about it all: Kym’s mom’s major surgery, Kym’s own stint in the ER, Kris’s paranoia about her daughters going hiking, how Kris and her daughter did a full-blown Chinese Fire Drill in the middle of rush hour traffic so Kris could break all speed laws to get to Kym’s house for a damned good reason. Hey now. Listen first, judge later. And this is the point where the Universe said that whole thing about , “hold my drink, etc., etc., etc.” Let’s just say the parts about a pissed cat, and a humping dog are based in reality. So when we say today’s episode is “A Study In Chaos,” when you give it a listen you’ll understand we know what we’re talking about.

Check out our “When SHTF: A Study In Chaos” episode on  iTu.nes/Apple Podcasts, SpotifyOvercast, Libsyn, Pocket CastStitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.

And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

© The Mugly Truth 2019 and © The Mugly Truth Podcast 2019. All rights reserved.
Intro and outro music, “Clever as a Fox”  by Espresso Music through premiumbeats.com.
Nothin’ To See Here Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric on Pexels.com via Free WordPress Photo Library.

Episodes

Miles and Piles of Philes!

Today’s “Miles and Piles of Philes!” episode is on  iTunes/Apple PodcastsSpotifyOvercastLibsynPocket CastStitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts.

Today’s episode harkens back to The Mugly Truth’s beginnings of long lists with really hard-to-pronounce words to tackle the world of PHILES! Phile is derived from the Greek word philos which means “one that loves, likes, or is attracted to.” So sit back, relax with your cup of coffee, and try not to spit-take as Kris stumbles from word to word and Kym valiantly guesses at what each might mean. There’s really not a ton of educational content except maybe how NOT to pronounce words. Mostly today is about laughs and fun. And cookies. So many cookies. We actually took a cookie break. Is there a word for loving cookies? Cookiemonster, are you listening? Please email us.

This whole topic started with Kris’ favorite phile of all time: Pluviophile (the lover of the sound of rain). Great word, fun to say, and the sound of rain is soothing. Unless it’s rain from a hurricane. But let’s not detour down that road.

During the course of the episode, you’ll discover that Kris is also an anglophile, and a clinophile. And it’s no secret Kym and Kris are cynophiles and ailurophiles AND dendrophiles. Kym needs bujophile to become a thing, because as far as she’s concerned it totally is but she isn’t sure to whom she should submit her application for, you know…wordship.

All is not lost in the education department. After all, we did learn new words, AND we learned that not everything looks like how it’s spelled. For instance, do YOU know what a hippophile, oenophile, xanthophile, autophile, or cartophile are? Mmhmm. Don’t be as sure as you just thought you are, snickering as you read that (but if you do know, then we bow down to your lingual superiority). We’ll bet you didn’t know there’s a word for the feverish need to undress. There is. We’re blushing. But not about THAT…mostly still cringing about that whole “Amadeo! Amadeo!” instead of “Galileo! Galileo!” thing. (You’ll have to listen to find out but spoiler alert Kris needs to stop singing.) And, hey, that’s not fair Googling this stuff…listen first, then Google. Because we’re still not sure we got them all correct anyway.

Check out our “Miles and Piles of Philes!” episode on  iTunes/Apple Podcasts, SpotifyOvercast, Libsyn, Pocket CastStitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.

And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

© The Mugly Truth 2019 and © The Mugly Truth Podcast 2019. All rights reserved.
Intro and outro music, “Clever as a Fox”  by Espresso Music through premiumbeats.com.
Photos courtesy of WordPress free library; dog photo by Lum3n.com on Pexels.com

Episodes

Resting Bitchfest

Kris and Kym Old Orange
Kris must have said something off color but Kym clearly doesn’t mind at all.

Kym and Kris and Dog!

HEY HI!! How was your week? Was it as “interesting” as ours?? Have you been stressing out? Ready to throw in the towel?  Pretty much think people suck? You need to just let it all out??? Ok. THIS is the perfect episode for YOU! You NEED to listen because HONEY we are right there with you. Kris comes in pretty damned hot, Kym is in all kinds of pain (mostly because she’s cramping AND she tucked and rolled during a walk in the park), and we cannot BELIEVE we have even more traffic stories, including guys who drive around pregnant women in the crosswalk for a bagel, guys who park in no-parking spots, guys who honk the second the light turns green, women driving while reading….Wait. Who are we kidding. This is Southern California. We could have a podcast ranting ONLY about traffic every single day.

By the way, have you seen the meme where someone zip-ties shopping carts to a car’s door handle in the grocery store parking lot? INSPIRING.

Anyway.

We also talk(bitch) about gaining weight, crappy Fitbits, the pain of getting back to the gym, and then before you know it, we mention a dog story and BOOM! Just like in real life where we’re walking down the street deep in conversation, as soon as a dog comes into the picture we STOP! We FORGET EVERYTHING! We see, hear, and speak nothing but PUPPYPUPPYPUPPY and go absofreakinglutley gaga over dogs.

But wait! (Again) There’s MORE! This is our lucky number 13 episode! We don’t talk about that, but we thought we’d mention it here.

We share our Mom of the Year Stories about teaching our daughters how to burp nowhere near like little ladies, PLUS we have a Grandpa Joke AND a Grandpa Fart Story.

Captain Looseass to the rescue!

BURPING AND FARTING. Fellas, it’s alllll about making up for the cramps story. You’re welcome.

And just like that it all settles…it all calms…and all of a sudden…we are all about the Namaste.

Oh and by the way, Elon Musk, do we have an idea for YOU!!! 

So lookie-here friends. We are here for you. If our misery helps you feel not so alone…if our pain brings a smile to your face…if our bitchfest makes you LOL…WHAT THE HELLNATION IS WRONG WITH YOU?

I mean…our job is done for another week!! And hey, we prove that in the end, it all works out and life is pretty great.

To hear our RESTING BITCHFEST episode, go to iTunes/Apple Podcasts, SpotifyOvercast, Libsyn, Pocket Casts, and Stitcher or any podcast player you prefer and then subscribe, download and listen! If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review! The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.

And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

© The Mugly Truth 2018 and © The Mugly Truth Podcast 2018. All rights reserved.
Intro and outro music, “Clever as a Fox”  by Espresso Music through premiumbeats.com
Location photo by Kimberly Sickel, @riverdeer at 500px