Control Is An Illusion

Today’s episode “Control Is An Illusion” is on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, SpotifyOvercast, Libsyn, Pocket CastStitcher, iHeartRadio, or anywhere you listen to podcasts.

Hello 2020! SO much to…uh…unpack in today’s episode! Yes. Yes, we just said “unpack.” But it’s kind of true. We are bringing 2020 in like spiritual giants today! None of this namby pamby “I want to lose 10 pounds” or “I’m going to quit yelling at people in traffic!” resolution nonsense to start off the new year and new decade. (For the record, Kris already tried the second one and it’s just NOT happening folks. As for the first…we’re both working on it.) Nope. We get straight into beastmode as we go over two very deep topics: Letting Go and Signs of Maturity.

Tee hee. Don’t mind us. We’re just over here on top of the mountain, sitting cross-legged and sh*t talking to butterflies with our minds. Just kidding. We’re probably sitting at our desks drinking coffee cussing someone out under our breath and immediately feeling guilty for it. Because not mature, for sure.

Moving on.

Today’s episode is inspired by an amazing 12-step program called Al-Anon. If you aren’t aware of what Al-Anon is, it’s an offshoot from the 12-step program Alcoholics Anonymous. It was co-founded by Lois Wilson, wife of Bill Wilson who co-founded AA. As the wife of an alcoholic, Lois needed her own support group, and thus was formed Al-Anon…a group where family and friends affected by loved one’s drinking (or drugging, or any addictive self-destructive behavior, frankly) can find fellowship, guidance, serenity, and sanity.

Two readings we reference today are “Letting Go” (just google “letting go checklist Al-Anon” and you’ll see images pop up…mostly in Pinterest), and “A Checklist for Evaluating Our Maturity” (same, except, here’s a link to a blog which has it written out). There are some real gems in helping us realize just how much the idea of control is an illusion, actually, and that true serenity comes from “going with the flow.” As for that maturity thing…tsk…sigh…ugh…well, as much as Kris thinks she’s got a long way to go, it’s safe to say we’re both actually doing ok in the adulting department. Some would argue otherwise. Those some can kiss our butts. NYAHpffffffffffffffttt!

They’re GOALS….we never said we accomplished them all. TSK.

Now before we get into the fact checking and the links to topics we mentioned in the episode today, it’s very important for us to take a moment to get a bit serious and encourage anyone who has a friend or family member in the throes of alcoholism and/or addiction of any kind to contact Al-Anon as a starting point to help YOU get YOUR life back into the land of the living. It’s a scary thing, watching friends or family suffer from addiction, but on the sideline you don’t realize you, too, are suffering from the effects of the disease. If you need help to cope, you can start here. Give it a go…there is hope.

Alright. Now let’s get down to correcting ourselves. Six minutes into the episode and there’s already SO MUCH to fix. Sigh.

  • Is it realllllllly a new decade? If you’re like Kris’ dad, Kym’s former co-worker, and this article, you’ll be on the “NOPE WE AIN’T” side. If you’re like us, you DGAF. BUHbye moving on, there’s more important things to worry about, like Australia (pray for more rain. Right now. If you’re reading right now, stop and just read this out loud: “Dear God please rain water down on Australia”. Don’t care if you don’t believe in God. You can be an atheist. Just do it this one time…don’t even need to say the “G” word, just say, “HEY YOU UP THERE RAIN ON AUSTRALIA.” Thanks. And thanks skydaddy!)
  • Ok. Geography lesson. The mountains we refer to as Saddleback Mountains are actually the Santa Ana Mountains; the mountains we refer to as “north of us where Mt. Baldy and Big Bear are”….well, Mt. Baldy (also known as Mt. San Antonio) is in the San Gabriel Mountains which were spectacularly covered (and still are) in snow last week. Big Bear, however, is in the San Bernardino Mountains. We’ve lived here all our lives and yet we still can only dopity-dope over the purty snow on the hills off yonder without knowing what the heck we’re actually looking at. Whatever. Now we ALL know. Class dismissed.
  • Mr. Geography: Excuse me, Kris, please hang back a mo. Kris: But Mr. Geography, the rest of the class is leav… Mr. Geography: Mt. Whitney is in Sequoia National Park which is nowhere near where you live. No. Where. Near. Hundreds of miles away. Still in California, yes. But you can’t see it. Because…Far. Away. Not. Near. You. Kris dismissed.
  • CFL…ohKriskriskriskris. You talk so much. So fast. You make so many mistakes. #eyeroll. It’s CSF. Cerebrospinal Fluid. Sniff.
  • Morf = Mike Morford, whom we interviewed last season, is producer of Scene of the Crime podcast, cohost on Criminology and Three Men and a Mystery podcasts, and host of The Murder in My Family podcast. Thank you Morf for your shoutout on Twitter. We’re still gobsmacked you listen to our show.
  • Naptime Nancy: Another kickass podcaster whose episodes can be and should be listened to immediately. Go here to do so.
  • Morning news items. Time to change the lock screen settings on the ol’ iPad to something more relaxing. Not like this creepy crap: We killed an Iraqi General and have maybe started WWIII; why you shouldn’t ever write “20” for the year 2020 on checks and documents (always write 2020); and those nutty mysterious drones over Colorado.
  • Anjelah Johnson. Kym was mostly right. It’s Anjelah NICOLE Johnson. OHMYGAWD if you don’t know the nail salon sketch, you need to edumacate yourself now.
Photo by Evie Shaffer on Pexels.com

And with that, we’ll say, “welcome 2020, you’re doing your best to test us mere mortals first week in, but guess what. You’re not in control. We choose zen.” And coffee. We always choose coffee. Clink!

Thank you for joining us. Check out The Mugly Truth Podcast’s episode “Control Is An Illusion” on  iTunes/Apple Podcasts, SpotifyOvercast, Libsyn, Pocket CastStitcher, iHeartRadio, or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.

And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

© The Mugly Truth 2020 and © The Mugly Truth Podcast 2020. All rights reserved.
Intro and outro music, “Clever as a Fox”  by Espresso Music through premiumbeats.com.

Featured Photo of Illusion Face in Mirror by Ismael Sanchez on Pexels.com


Effects of Social Media

Today’s episode is on  iTunes/Apple PodcastsSpotifyOvercastLibsynPocket CastStitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts.

On today’s episode of The Mugly Truth, we talk (well, Kris kind of rants actually) about the effects of social media on adults, teens and kids. See, being products of 70’s and 80’s we remember life without instant answers, not knowing when a message is received, and having a small circle of friends vs 5,000. Back then, we had to go to the library, or crack open an encyclopedia (which was so expensive to boot!), or ask mom and dad for the answer to our questions (and hope they knew). To connect with friends we had to dial a landline (God help you if you had a rotary dial still) and then hope they were home…letting it ring and ring and ring ad nauseum – that is until the magic of the answering machine became a household game-changer around 1984. We’d pass paper notes in class and hope the teacher wouldn’t catch them mid-transmission and worst luck…read them out loud.

If we couldn’t hang out after school, we would make plans to watch MTV at the same time and then talk on the phone for hours as we watched and sang along with our favorite band’s latest videos. Woe to the poor person trying to reach our parents. They would just have to keep trying or give up in frustration from the incessant buzz of the busy signal since call waiting was still pretty newfangled. We personally didn’t have home computers as kids (though others did), hell, we were still marveling over the concept of using a cable box and recording movies on a Vee-Cee-Arr. The closest thing we got to instant photos was using a Polaroid camera, mix tapes were literally recorded from the radio or a record player using a cassette tape recorder, and we listened to those sweet jams later on our Sony Walkmans. We could sit for hours in a quiet corner to read a book for the fiftieth time, but we would have to wait a month for the latest celebrity gossip, makeup tips and photos of our boy-band crushes to be revealed in our teen magazines like Tiger Beat, Seventeen and Bop. Once we started driving, we had a Thomas Brothers map thrown into the back of the car somewhere…usually on the floor behind the passenger seat. And if our car broke down? We’d better have enough change to call Dad (or Automobile Club) from a payphone.





Sort of.

Nowadays…it’s all literally at our fingertips. Knowledge, fellowship, support, photos of loved ones, status updates…face-to-face video chatting just like we watched on Star Trek and Star Wars! It’s all just hanging out in our back pocket, purse or desktop 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s there next to us as we sleep, ready to wake us up for work and then perched somewhere nearby feeding us amazing podcasts (ahem), audiobooks and playlists to get us through our daily grind. We’ve seen the rise of YouTube where anyone can be a worldwide “tv” star in a show of one’s own making. When you’re tired of watching your millionth tutorial, you can binge a favorite blast from the past or latest sensation (and Kris does) whenever and wherever you want – depending on how much money you want to shell out for any combination of Netflix, Hulu, Prime Video, and a la carte cable channel apps. We can watch our favorite movie or tv show or sporting event sitting on a bus heading to work. And if we forget the name of that actor in that movie? Google’s got it.

Photo by Tracy Le Blanc on Pexels.com

Want to know how long it will take to drive from point A to point B IN ANOTHER COUNTRY? We can look that up in less than a minute. Want to watch your kid drive from point A to point B on a Saturday night next town over? There’s an app somewhere that can help you do that (Black Mirror, anyone)? Speaking of family and friends…it’s amazing how we can see what our loved ones are doing and feeling and who they’re with, even what they’re eating. Whatever they want to share, we can share with them (if their settings allow) in almost real time. Admittedly, this is sometimes to the detriment of our stomach contents (photos of severed fingers and surgery sutures and compound fractures are disgusting…please stop. Please. JUST. STAHP.) If our significant other doesn’t answer the phone, we can leave a voicemail and then send a text to cover the bases. But God forbid we get left unread. Them’s the biggest fightin’ words never spoken or typed.

Chances are unless you are someone who completely lives off the grid (though doubtful since you’re reading this), you have experienced a level of connection like all or some of what we’ve described. You may also have experienced the frustration of the quagmire of political rants clogging your news feeds. Your blood pressure may have risen once or twice (a day or hour) just reading comments from trolls in another clickbait article. Have you ever gotten so riled about a posted story your friend says is true only to discover, thanks to sites like Snopes.com, that the story was literally crap? Yeah. Us too. We have gotten so wrapped up in this miraculous link to the world that we are getting trapped in the FOMO phenomenon (fear of missing out), sometimes absent-mindedly picking up our phone and checking Twitter or Instagram or Snapchat a couple minutes after swiping the apps shut. We try to put the phones away when friends and family sit in front of us, but inevitably we sneak a peek to check What’s App. Or we whip it out to snap that delightful dinner. Or answer that damned question, “WHO was that actor???”

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

We talk about the good and the bad of social media in this episode…like we said, we love and hate the internet. But mostly we can’t picture living without this connection we have (now that we’ve had it), and we look forward to future technology that will make it even better. We just can’t lose sight of the real world around us. We cannot compare ourselves to the perfection we see on Instagram. We must continue to always understand what we read on a screen is what people present to us to be seen. Like the old saying our folks imparted to us all those years ago, before all this began, “don’t believe everything you read” Oh…and, “don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides.” Mom and dad told us a lot of great stuff.

Remembering this will remind us that the most beautiful, lovely, wonderful things we could possible experience are the eyes of our loved ones, the sound of their laughter…the clouds and sun and fresh air of a perfectly normal day while birds fly across the sky and dogs bark at us from the other side of a fence. We know…sounds like a bunch of sappy crap. Well, maybe Ernest Cline said it better:

“That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it’s also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real.” 
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

Links related to this topic:

Check out our “Effects of Social Media” episode on  iTunes/Apple Podcasts, SpotifyOvercast, Libsyn, Pocket CastStitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.

And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

© The Mugly Truth 2019 and © The Mugly Truth Podcast 2019. All rights reserved.
Intro and outro music, “Clever as a Fox”  by Espresso Music through premiumbeats.com.
Cellphone Apps Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com, via Free WordPress Photo Library.