If you don’t know what SHTF means, let us illustrate for you. You’re at work. The printer cannot, despite repeated jabs of the print button, spit out the report you need for a meeting that started two minutes ago. A seething eff-bomb makes its way from your lips as you slap the printer. Your highly conservative CEO walks past you at this moment. The day continues in this vein. For Lawdy’s sake, it’s 5pm, clock out. Every red light ever ever ever – including a new one they just installed between 8am and 4:49pm – mocks you. Finally open it up to a raging 27 mph as a swarm of insects finds your windshield. Remember you should have filled that wiper fluid when it ran out yesterday. Pick up child from daycare 20 minutes late. Pay $30. A road construction zone is ahead. Back to 12 mph. Ahhhaahahaha, eventually, home. Blissfully ignorant of the screw in your tire, cross the threshold of your sanctuary with a deeply tired exhalation, aka a big sigh. Know your couch, a cold drink and Netflix are only moments away. Suddenly behold the masterpiece that your cat, if she could talk in French, would call Papier de Toilette Apocalypse, Redux (if that’s not how to say Toilet Paper Apocalypse Redux in French, blame Google translate). Your dog is now trying to hump the cat. Cat throws some seriously sweet haymakers. Make a sound somewhere between hysterical laughter and whimpering as you separate your insane-ass pets with a broom and the only spray bottle immediately at hand: Febreze Air Bora Bora. Turn around to discover your child now has a face reminiscent of Jackson Pollock‘s Number 18 because SHARPIES at toddler level and you took your eyes off him for TWO MINUTES FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. Ask Alexa to reorder your Postmates from the night before (Author note: can Alexa do that? If not it should totally be a thing). Futilely scrub screaming toddler. Postmates driver calls to say he has a flat tire because he ran over a screw in a construction zone on the way.
That is what we call Shit Hitting The Fan. It’s not stuff that’s earth-shattering or life-altering. It’s just…tiring. Overwhelming. It’s…it’s A DAY. And you’re done with it.
And then the Universe says, “but wait…there’s more…hold my craft ale please.”
Well, that’s the kind of days (yes, plural) that Kym was having, right up to when we recorded today’s episode. So even though we had a topic (which we eventually get around to), we sat down and just…talked. Talked about it all: Kym’s mom’s major surgery, Kym’s own stint in the ER, Kris’s paranoia about her daughters going hiking, how Kris and her daughter did a full-blown Chinese Fire Drill in the middle of rush hour traffic so Kris could break all speed laws to get to Kym’s house for a damned good reason. Hey now. Listen first, judge later. And this is the point where the Universe said that whole thing about , “hold my drink, etc., etc., etc.” Let’s just say the parts about a pissed cat, and a humping dog are based in reality. So when we say today’s episode is “A Study In Chaos,” when you give it a listen you’ll understand we know what we’re talking about.
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