Tag: traffic

Episodes

When SHTF: A Study in Chaos

themuglytruth
Today’s episode is on  iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts.

If you don’t know what SHTF means, let us illustrate for you. You’re at work. The printer cannot, despite repeated jabs of the print button, spit out the report you need for a meeting that started two minutes ago. A seething eff-bomb makes its way from your lips as you slap the printer. Your highly conservative CEO walks past you at this moment. The day continues in this vein. For Lawdy’s sake, it’s 5pm, clock out. Every red light ever ever ever – including a new one they just installed between 8am and 4:49pm – mocks you. Finally open it up to a raging 27 mph as a swarm of insects finds your windshield. Remember you should have filled that wiper fluid when it ran out yesterday. Pick up child from daycare 20 minutes late. Pay $30. A road construction zone is ahead. Back to 12 mph. Ahhhaahahaha, eventually, home. Blissfully ignorant of the screw in your tire, cross the threshold of your sanctuary with a deeply tired exhalation, aka a big sigh. Know your couch, a cold drink and Netflix are only moments away. Suddenly behold the masterpiece that your cat, if she could talk in French, would call Papier de Toilette Apocalypse, Redux (if that’s not how to say Toilet Paper Apocalypse Redux in French, blame Google translate). Your dog is now trying to hump the cat. Cat throws some seriously sweet haymakers. Make a sound somewhere between hysterical laughter and whimpering as you separate your insane-ass pets with a broom and the only spray bottle immediately at hand: Febreze Air Bora Bora. Turn around to discover your child now has a face reminiscent of Jackson Pollock‘s Number 18 because SHARPIES at toddler level and you took your eyes off him for TWO MINUTES FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. Ask Alexa to reorder your Postmates from the night before (Author note: can Alexa do that? If not it should totally be a thing). Futilely scrub screaming toddler. Postmates driver calls to say he has a flat tire because he ran over a screw in a construction zone on the way.

That is what we call Shit Hitting The Fan. It’s not stuff that’s earth-shattering or life-altering. It’s just…tiring. Overwhelming. It’s…it’s A DAY. And you’re done with it.

And then the Universe says, “but wait…there’s more…hold my craft ale please.”

Photo by Luan Oosthuizen on Pexels.com

Well, that’s the kind of days (yes, plural) that Kym was having, right up to when we recorded today’s episode. So even though we had a topic (which we eventually get around to), we sat down and just…talked. Talked about it all: Kym’s mom’s major surgery, Kym’s own stint in the ER, Kris’s paranoia about her daughters going hiking, how Kris and her daughter did a full-blown Chinese Fire Drill in the middle of rush hour traffic so Kris could break all speed laws to get to Kym’s house for a damned good reason. Hey now. Listen first, judge later. And this is the point where the Universe said that whole thing about , “hold my drink, etc., etc., etc.” Let’s just say the parts about a pissed cat, and a humping dog are based in reality. So when we say today’s episode is “A Study In Chaos,” when you give it a listen you’ll understand we know what we’re talking about.

Check out our “When SHTF: A Study In Chaos” episode on  iTu.nes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.

And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

© The Mugly Truth 2019 and © The Mugly Truth Podcast 2019. All rights reserved.
Intro and outro music, “Clever as a Fox”  by Espresso Music through premiumbeats.com.
Nothin’ To See Here Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric on Pexels.com via Free WordPress Photo Library.

Episodes

Are You Hungary?

themuglytruth

Kym In Budapest
Kym on vacation in Budapest, Hungary!

 

Happy Tuesday and hello week 2 of 2019! In today’s episode, Are You Hungary?, Kym recaps her adventures in her grandmother’s homeland of Hungary.  Her trip proved a lot may be different across the globe from continent to continent, country to country, city to city, but so much is also the same.

For instance:

  1. Teenagers – Ahh, the lovely demeanor of a teenager. To shake things up, make it a local bit…teen, and you’re a tourist. Can’t you just SMELL the insolence? If they’re sitting in your assigned bus seat, they’re not going to give a solid rat’s ass about how much you paid for it – you silly not-us person – and they will roll their eyes at you and make your life a living hell when you get adulty with them.
  2. Karma – Karma IS a bitch all over the globe, and one of those little brats on the bus found that out sooner than later. Can we get a ginormous “TEE-HEE”??
  3. The Knight Bus – The Knight Bus might be a fictional mode of transportation in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, but it’s very possible she got real life inspiration from a certain Pest bus driver.
  4. Traffic – crazy drivers and traffic sucks worldwide. Yup.
  5. The Cat Cafe – there’s one in Budapest and one right here at home in Southern California (Los Angeles to be exact). They’re also in Korea, Austria, Spain, Germany, France and the UK. Did we mention Taiwan? It’s safe to say in ANY location it’s always awesome to have a cuppa with a big ginger feline checking in on you at your table to say, “How are thee hooman peasants? Java good? I allow you to scratch my ear. Behold my majestic tail. And now…I leave. Meow, bitches.”
  6. Snooty Waitstaff – When Kris was a girl, her grandma shared stories about being a waitress and the very worst thing you could do to show your disdain for crappy service was leave a penny as a tip. Kym and fam would have left a certain Viennese server a single, gunky, nasty, old penny had the damned gratuity not already been included in the bill. Big snooty jerk server man. Pffft.
  7. Car accidents – It’s about as NOT FUN to be in a fender bender halfway around the world as it is at home. But it’s really interesting when you don’t know what the hell you’re supposed to do when it occurs and you can’t speak the language to find out what’s going on. No one was hurt, which is the best possible outcome no matter where you are.
  8. New Year’s Fireworks. All. Night. – Yep, it seems New Year’s Eve is celebrated by loud, happy people with lots and lots of fireworks alllllll through the night no matter where you are trying to sleep in the world.
  9. Coffee – coffee adoration is universal, and even though it might be a little more difficult to get coffee “to go” in Budapest, you can find it if you look hard enough.
  10. Love Locks – Paris isn’t the only city where you can seal your love with a lock on a gate near a river. Just sayin’. But are you a key lock person, or a combo lock person? AHA! There’s a difference…as Kym found out.
  11. Late Flights – Ohhhhhhhhh YESSSS! The supreme joy of sweating your butt off as you sprint through an airport trying to reach your connecting flight and make it in the very, very nick of time. So. Much. Fun.

Even though the similarities might have elicited a smile (or a snarl) from our intrepid cohost, they and the unique elements of Budapest and Vienna are now incredible memories and lively stories for her and the family: a vampire tour of Buda Castle, an energetic hike up Gellert Hill, crossing one (or more) of seven bridges spanning the great Danube river, trying local food and drink, writing on walls in a “ruin bar,” dipping into the splendid Széchenyi Thermal Baths, experiencing the poignant and emotional Holocaust memorial Shoes on the Danube Bank…well, go ahead and listen in to hear Kym tell it.

Oh, and sausages in Vienna are definitely NOT NOT NOT the same Vienna sausages we have here in the states. #sansgelatinousgoop #actuallyrealfood #kymsaysyum

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Budapest thermal baths. Photo courtesy of Kym Wagner and Kayla Miles.

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Fitting in beautifully in the country of her ancestors. Photo courtesy of Kym Wagner and Kayla Miles.

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This lovely, king-of-the-scratching-post, gentleman graced Kym and family with a visit at their table at the Budapest Cat Cafe! Photo courtesy of Kym Wagner and Kayla Miles.

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View from atop Gellert Hill. Photo courtesy of Kym Wagner and Kayla Miles.

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Holocaust memorial along the Danube in Budapest.

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Kym likes a guy in uniform. Oh, wait. KRIS likes a guy in uniform. Maybe Kym’s giving this guy Kris’ number?

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Coffee love transcends borders, oceans and snooty Viennese wait-staff.

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The love lock gate of Budapest.

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The sign says it all! Photo courtesy of Kym Wagner and Kayla Miles.

Check out our ARE YOU HUNGARY? episode on  iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.

And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

© The Mugly Truth 2018 and © The Mugly Truth Podcast 2018. All rights reserved.
Intro and outro music, “Clever as a Fox”  by Espresso Music through premiumbeats.com

 

 

Episodes

Resting Bitchfest

themuglytruth

Kris and Kym Old Orange
Kris must have said something off color but Kym clearly doesn’t mind at all.

Kym and Kris and Dog!

HEY HI!! How was your week? Was it as “interesting” as ours?? Have you been stressing out? Ready to throw in the towel?  Pretty much think people suck? You need to just let it all out??? Ok. THIS is the perfect episode for YOU! You NEED to listen because HONEY we are right there with you. Kris comes in pretty damned hot, Kym is in all kinds of pain (mostly because she’s cramping AND she tucked and rolled during a walk in the park), and we cannot BELIEVE we have even more traffic stories, including guys who drive around pregnant women in the crosswalk for a bagel, guys who park in no-parking spots, guys who honk the second the light turns green, women driving while reading….Wait. Who are we kidding. This is Southern California. We could have a podcast ranting ONLY about traffic every single day.

By the way, have you seen the meme where someone zip-ties shopping carts to a car’s door handle in the grocery store parking lot? INSPIRING.

Anyway.

We also talk(bitch) about gaining weight, crappy Fitbits, the pain of getting back to the gym, and then before you know it, we mention a dog story and BOOM! Just like in real life where we’re walking down the street deep in conversation, as soon as a dog comes into the picture we STOP! We FORGET EVERYTHING! We see, hear, and speak nothing but PUPPYPUPPYPUPPY and go absofreakinglutley gaga over dogs.

But wait! (Again) There’s MORE! This is our lucky number 13 episode! We don’t talk about that, but we thought we’d mention it here.

We share our Mom of the Year Stories about teaching our daughters how to burp nowhere near like little ladies, PLUS we have a Grandpa Joke AND a Grandpa Fart Story.

Captain Looseass to the rescue!

BURPING AND FARTING. Fellas, it’s alllll about making up for the cramps story. You’re welcome.

And just like that it all settles…it all calms…and all of a sudden…we are all about the Namaste.

Oh and by the way, Elon Musk, do we have an idea for YOU!!! 

So lookie-here friends. We are here for you. If our misery helps you feel not so alone…if our pain brings a smile to your face…if our bitchfest makes you LOL…WHAT THE HELLNATION IS WRONG WITH YOU?

I mean…our job is done for another week!! And hey, we prove that in the end, it all works out and life is pretty great.

To hear our RESTING BITCHFEST episode, go to iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Casts, and Stitcher or any podcast player you prefer and then subscribe, download and listen! If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review! The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.

And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

© The Mugly Truth 2018 and © The Mugly Truth Podcast 2018. All rights reserved.
Intro and outro music, “Clever as a Fox”  by Espresso Music through premiumbeats.com
Location photo by Kimberly Sickel, @riverdeer at 500px

 

 

 

 

Episodes

Episode 05: Traff**k

themuglytruth

Our happy place…Namaste.
Our other happy place. Or, is it our PUPPY place?! *nodding*
Mmhhmmmm. Traff**k. Don’t know where this is, but it looks familiar.
Ready to go…Kym is definitely ready to talk traffic! And fling an expletive or two.
Ready to go…got the laptop, the coffee mug and the sound mixer are all set.

Whoa boy. Ok kids. We’ve been put in a time out because the salty language was flung far and wide today. So much so that we actually added a NSFW disclaimer at the beginning of the episode. Truth be told (the mugly truth that is), some people will listen and just say “PFFFT! That all you got?” Others could very well feel all aflutter and aghast at our classless audacity. Others may simply unfollow. (WHAT?? Sorry. Not allowed.) Which one will you be? You won’t know until you listen! Oh. Rest assured in and around the salt is some real discussion about just exactly what kind of idio…um…

Closing eyes. Breathing. Centering. Feel the cool breeze on your face as you emerge into your happy place…

…people…we come across in our daily grind in Southern California traffic.  Who’s your “favorite” moro…

ooof.

Breathing. BREATHING. Centeringcenteringcentering

…person to share the road with? The Tailgater? The Cutter? The Chaser? Blocker? Boxer? His Royal Highness Pete The Oblivious? The Kardashian Update Texter?

Man do we ever cover some doozy stories of our own.

And there are so many more we forgot! Such as The Creeper…you know…the @#$%! who gets as far ahead of everyone else as possible in the shoulder or offramp before merging? Or the *#*@&! who actually use the shoulder as a full lane to exit a mile away?! (Hey buddy!! The rest of us are over here minding our business in this damn 30-minute mile-long line, fuming, having to pee, worrying about what’s for dinner – did I mention URINATION??? – waiting to get out of this GODFORSAKEN ASPHALT PURGATORY LEGALLY! What makes you so special you gotta drive down the shoulder you…)

Calming down. Calming right the f**k down…

ohmohmohmohmohm…callllllmmmm callllmmm callllllmmmity calm…c’moooon

Breathing (hyperventilating?)

Namaste you f*@#!%

SEE? Traff**k.

But just to make matters light we offer an alternative to swearing and cursing. Actually, we offer a different type of cursing…that of the “May you forevermore blow a tire every time you drive down the shoulder for no good reason other than you’re a selfish, entitled little c$*#$twa@waff%@!” variety. You know, the kind that comes with a lightning bolt, thunder strike and cackle. And a few flash-bangs. We come up with a few good ones. It’s a good way to let off some steam and not lose your cool at the same time.

So join us! Click the Libsyn link below to merge into our Episode 05: Traff**k lane!

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Hey, let us know if you come up with a curse of your own! Follow us HERE (see that little blue button up there on the right?), Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter to leave us your own epic tales of driving or the curses you fling along the way, or email us here at sipsters@themuglytruth.com!

You can also download the episode directly from our Libsyn podcast page at: http://themuglytruth.libsyn.com/. Download all our episodes and listen everywhere you go!

And hey, in all seriousness, nothing is worth your life and the lives of those around you. It’s a crazy, packed world out there, we’re all trying our best to get through each day, some of us fail miserably once in awhile and those are the times we need to have the most tolerance and patience. Let someone in, use your blinker, wait for the next light…slow down (yass Kris?) and for the love of God put your phone down. Please, get home to your family, your pets, or your favorite book alive, calm, and well. Take care of yourselves and each other. (KRIS…ARE YOU LISTENING??? Tsk.)

© The Mugly Truth 2018 and © The Mugly Truth Podcast 2018. All rights reserved.
Intro and outro music, “Clever as a Fox”  by Espresso Music through premiumbeats.com