We riff off our That’s Purgetastic! episode talking a bit more about shedding material baggage, and then going beyond the physical purge by exploring how to let go of past hurts, unhealthy belief systems, love relationships, and expectations of what we think “should be.”
Kym shares her personal experiences of forgiveness involving her ill father. Kris reveals the painful process of having a parent afflicted with Alzheimer’s as well as how she has navigated the devastation of letting go a significant relationship. It gets a little deep for The Mugly Truth, but that’s ok.
Even though discarding a pair of too-high heels is not the same as letting go the dream of a future with someone, or the pain of a neglected childhood (oooorrrrrr, is it?? Some people are very attached to their shoes coffcoffsexinthecitycoff), the process is actually pretty much the same. It’s about being (sometimes brutally) honest with ourselves and asking how what is being held onto is serving us – is it for good or for bad (because something negative can serve us). Is it something we can let go of now or is it something we are willing to move toward letting go? How long are we willing to traverse the path to freedom? Are we ok with feeling some deep feelings, knowing at the end of the day (or year or five) It’s technically as simple as making a pros and cons list and examining the truth. Except that examining painful truths is not a simple thing. So there’s the element of courage as well. But no pressure.
As a way to help you get started on the “let it go” journey, here’s a link to the Tiny Buddha article called 40 Ways to Leg Go and Feel Less Pain (and be sure to look for that pesky breathing practice Kris couldn’t pronounce: ujayii.)
Check out our “Let It Go” episode on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.
And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
We’re two ladies of a certain age (ahem) living in this amazing, wacky, wild world. We are lifelong friends looking back over our shoulders at the lives that shaped us. We enjoy sharing with you the experiences that brought us here – to today; to who we are at this very moment. Hey, we’re hard-working gals with day jobs and kids. Even though we have experienced totally different life-paths, we share a really quirky sense of humor, we speak sarcasm fluently, and – let’s face it folks – infuse our stories with some pretty colorful language.
Participate in International Transgender Day of Visibility by asking questions and having an honest conversation.
Today we talk with Terin, a long-time friend who is one of the most inspirational people we know for lots and lots of reasons. She joins us to discuss being the parent of a transgender daughter, and how having Vivian come out was a “non-issue” for their family. International Transgender Day of Visibility is right around the corner (March 31) and we can’t think of a better way to participate.
Unfortunately, as we see every day on the news, on the internet, and on the streets, this loving acceptance of one’s child becoming authentically themselves and empowered is much rarer than it should be. We’re hoping discussions like ours can help add to the awareness about the struggles and accomplishments of men and women (and in some cases, young adults, teens and pre-teens – see below) who have taken the steps to finally be the people they were born to be in the face of hatred, ridicule, violence, and often rejection by the people who are supposed to love them the most: their families and friends.
According to www.healthychildren.org, the development of gender identity in kids naturally occurs when children are very young. Kids label themselves as boy or girl by the age of three and have a strong sense of their gender identity by four, usually showing their gender preference through the type of clothes they want to wear, hair styles, etc. As gender stereotypes dissolve, the colors, clothing, styles, and even toys that are typically assigned “boy” or “girl” are changing. For parents who simply want a healthy, happy child, it’s important to know kids naturally are curious and might express themselves in different ways at different times. It’s important to allow them to navigate through the stages of this development.
Happy healthy children grow up to be happy healthy adults. We need more of both.
As for us, we have never had an issue with our bodies (save for the usual suspects, “my butt’s too big!” “I hate my stomach!” and “I wish I was taller!”) and have always loved being women, never had any thought of being anything else. The concept of being a woman trapped in the body of a man (or a man trapped in a woman’s body) is so far removed from our psyche, it’s almost impossible to wrap our heads around how utterly miserable it must be – every single day and night – to struggle with knowing you are definitely a specific person but looking like someone you aren’t. It’s hard enough to feel comfortable in your own skin, let alone your own structure. This is the crux of our awkwardness with the topic. It has nothing to do with acceptance, that’s not the problem. It’s that we are so rooted in our own natural acceptance of our birth body that it never dawned on us there could be any other way to feel.
We want to learn and understand better. So we asked…what IS cis-gender (we are, turns out), binary/non-binary, gender-fluid? How do you refer to a transgender person if you aren’t sure (hint: even though it might be awkward, asking outright is usually the easiest way to set things on the right track). How did the rest of the family take the transition? What’s politically correct to say or talk about? What are the biggest struggles? What was the hormone therapy process like? What was it like to come up with a new name? What happens if you have to go to the bathroom? (Vivian’s reality regarding this basic need that most of us take for granted was unjust and awful.) And if you need help, where do you turn to for support and answers? (Another hint: GLAAD.org is a great starting point). We also learn the best answer a parent can give to the question, “will your child have gender reassignment surgery?”
Justice, equality and awareness is in our hands.
We know it’s really difficult for some people to understand. We get it. Whether the discomfort is based on religious beliefs, politics, or personal fear of what isn’t one’s norm, it is difficult to face any level of change. Either in others or ourselves, let alone a change as radical as gender transition. But the truth is, this world desperately needs happy, authentic humans. The more we cut down what we don’t understand…either through violence or cruelty…the more base and inhumane we become. If a person – a fundamentally good and civil soul – is of a religion, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or identity that doesn’t match someone’s expectations of what is “right” or “normal” who exactly is anyone to determine that? Why? The fact is, for every one person who stands firm and resolute in their belief system, there is another person standing equally firm and resolute in their opposing beliefs. As long as people keep focused on only one possible outcome, only one possible reality, we will all only be just standing angrily, shouting, pointing and name calling, in the name of a so-called “truth” and nothing changes. Nothing resolves. Nothing heals. Any man, woman or child who dares to stand in their own power in the face of hatred is a hero in our book. Any man, woman or child who dares face their own failings to show acceptance, tolerance or respect toward someone they once viewed as “too different”…is also a hero. Someday hopefully it will just be normalinstead of heroic.
It is our hope to talk to Vivian, get her story first hand. We’ve heard her mom’s story, so hopefully we can do justice to Viv’s. Terin is an amazing mom, a woman who has struggled through some tough times, like many. Her cellular makeup is one of non-bias, peace, and acceptance. She admits her own learning curves when it comes to the transgender community while embracing the “normalness” of her child becoming happy and healthy through the transition process. As for Vivian, she is a delightful person who has a story to tell and we are honored to record it. Hopefully that episode will be coming in the next few weeks.
Until then, here are some people we’d like you to know more about:
Janae Marie Kroczaleski, ex marine, cancer survivor, 2006 Arnold Classic WPO Powerlifting Middle Weight Champion, 2009 All-Time World Record setter in the 220lb class (surpassed in 2010), parent to three amazing boys, advocate for transgender athletes, author, and current subject of the Netflix documentary “TransFormer.” The show chronicles Janae’s biggest journey in reconciling her passion for power lifting with the body it gave her…a body she did not envision for herself as a woman. She discusses the documentary in this YouTube video. You can also follow her on Instagram to keep up with her inspirational story.
Jazz Jennings, one of the youngest people to publicly come out as transgender, and interviewed by Barbra Walters on 20/20 in 2007. Jazz is a YouTube sensation and at only 17 is an internationally recognized advocate for LGBTQ rights. She is the star of TLC’s, reality series “I am Jazz” which documents the life of the teenager and her family.
Amber Briggle of Denton, Texas, USA. Mom to two amazing kids, Amber documents the daily life of her family, including her son Max who made it very clear at a young age that the female anatomy he was born with was not who he truly was. Amber shares candidly about the struggles her son faces going to school, and growing up in a notoriously conservative region of the United States. Get onboard with this mamabear at her website https://love-to-the-max.com/ .
If you haven’t watched Schitt’s Creek yet, you’re missing out. All the Canadian comedy royalty (Catherine O’Hara, you are our queen) aside, Dan Levy – Yep, Eugene Levy’s drop-dead gorgeous, wickedly funny son – has created some of the most hilarious, romantic, and memorable scenes between his character, David Rose, and David’s boyfriend Patrick (played by Noah Reid).
If you want to know about more amazing people who, against major societal pushback, became who they truly were born to be, there are some pretty cool stories that span almost 100 years in this time.com article, and in this Pri.org article.
Check out our “Transgender Awareness” episode on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.
And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
Greetings and happy Tuesday! Today’s episode is all about catching up over a cuppa of Kris’ Keurig coffee and Kym’s Medicine Ball elixir of life from Starbucks (10/10 recommended!). We talk celebrity podcasts, the most notorious cold case of the 20th century, how successful we were at being randomly kind, Kym tries to sing opera even though she has no voice, and in the end we try to come up with some ways to improve certain areas of our lives. Confused? Especially about Kym singing opera? Don’t be! Today’s episode is brought to you by caffeine-fueled stream of consciousness! LET’S GO!!
Today we fall prey to a wee bit of celebrity podcast listener envy. Yep. We whine just a little about how all these famous people with millions of fans start podcasting and are top of the charts within two days. Waaaah. That’s ok. WE’LL GET THERE!! Just you watch. AND listen. And subscribe, download, rate and review…
We go on to discuss our escapades from Valentine’s day and just how successful we were during Random Acts of Kindness week, even in the face of adversity. As for VD (Valentine’s Day) Kym got some sweet kicks, while Kris just waited the day out. Good news, everyone survived.
But then we get into the real weeds about our latest favorites on tv and in the podcast world…including The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Kris went from “meh” to “BINGED BOTH SEASONS!” in no-time flat), Kym is all about the new Dirty John filmed documentary, and we’re both interested in a new podcast from Australia called “Who the Hell is Hamish” (introduced through the Teacher’s Pet podcast out of Australia). And we mention a few of those danged, uber-popular (and TBH, really good) celebrity podcasts: Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, The Monday Morning Podcast with Bill Burr, and SuperSoul Conversations with Oprah Winfrey. We REALLY do love them and don’t begrudge them their success. REALLY.
Unlike our coffee, we’re not bitter.
“I Am the Night”. Photo courtesy of TNT.
But wait! The discussion gets juicier! And by juicy we mean downright gruesome, so honestly if you’re not really into discussing mutilated bodies, skip ahead, because we blithely chatter along, not paying much mind to the details of our subject. Some people might not be so immune to the subject as we seem to be. Of course we are talking about true crime, and our latest obsession being the limited series “I Am The Night” starring Chris Pine.
The show chronicles the life of American author Fauna Hodel, granddaughter of the infamous and disturbed (our words) Los Angeles physician George Hodel – who is suspected by his Los Angeles Police Department homicide detective son (and author) Steve Hodel of being the Black Dahlia murderer!
Elizabeth short, forever known as the Black Dahlia, brutally murdered in 1947.
Ahem. How horrible do you have to be as a parent (and a person) to have your child grow up and write a book outlining their theory that you’re the perpetrator of the 20th century’s most notorious cold case ever?
The limited series is fantastic. If you didn’t know the truth behind it, you might not believe it was based on real life events because when we say it’s fantastic we mean in the “unfathomable” sense of the word.
Luckily there’s our new favorite podcast called “Root of Evil“, which is hosted by Fauna Hodel’s daughters Yvette and Rasha, with audio recordings of their mom and grandmother Tamar, as well as input by other members of the Hodel family, including their great-uncle Steve.
THIS PODCAST! This is the album art for the Root of Evil: The True Story of the Hodel Family and the Black Dahlia. IT IS A MUST-LISTEN! Go! Now! LISTEN!
The family members reflect on growing up behind the closed doors of Hollywood’s Sowden House (a Lloyd Wright architectural icon at the corner of Franklin and Normandie) and in the process they reveal the dark secrets and not-so-secret dastardly exploits of the family patriarch, Dr. H.
We top the episode with some pretty good ideas about things we’d like to be better at. Like being funny. (FunnIER.) And better at art. And emotional maturity. You know, typical goals. And just like that, we call it a day. Done and done. Because honestly, Kym is still REALLY sick in this episode and even though she made a valiant effort, it’s just clear as can be that all she really needed to do better was to go home and take care of her poor self.
OH and before we sign off, it’s imperative to shout out HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SAMANTHA!!!!!!!! TODAY is Sam’s birthday and I (Kris) couldn’t be prouder of her. (I love you to the moon, the deathstar, and to infinity and beyond Sami…so proud to be your momma, and so lucky).
Check out our Grande Upside-down Catch-up Frap, No Whip! episode on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.
And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
Happy Tuesday and Happy National Tell a Fairytale Day!! That’s right, February 26 is all about celebrating fairytales. Naturally Kym and Kris have chosen to take what’s lovely and beautiful and seemingly happy-ever-after and turn it on it’s morbid little head. Because if you really believe all those Disney happy endings, honey sit down, because the truth is downright scary. AND mugly.
First of all, the fairytales we all know and love have been around for centuries (the oldest known tale called “The Smith and The Devil” is believed to be 7,000 years old!). Among the most well known set of stories published in the early 19th century were by librarian brothers Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm as a way to prevent the stories of their Germanic heritage being lost forever. Prior to that, most tales were passed down in oral tradition as moral teachings and guidance. Apparently, telling children not to wander into the forest for fear of being baked by a witch was a great way to keep them playing in the front yard.
But beyond just moralizing opportunities, the tales were a snapshot of the social norms of the day. The value (or lack thereof, let’s face it) of women and children, the struggles of day to day existence, famine, disease…many of the stories we fawn over today as lovely and feel-good really were quite gruesome. So much so that over time some storylines actually became omitted. (Do you know what the ugly step sisters actually did to get that damned slipper to fit?? DO YOU??) We’ll warn you now…many include the deaths of women and children and there seemed to be just a smidge of cannibalism going on. Remember, famine.
Interesting side-note: according to this article History of Fairytales, by Susie McGee, the oral origins of the stories made famous by male authors like the Grimms, Hans Christian Andersen, and Charles Perrault, “[go] back much further than the 17th century, and many of these stories are actually just retellings of age-old tales, many created by women and retold throughout history” and “women typically created fairy tales with a distinct purpose in mind-to protest the societal constraints that were placed upon them and to emphasis their own rights as women in a man’s world.”
Hmmm.
Mostly the takeaway is we’re REALLY glad we’re 21st century women and that our kids have no idea how great their lives are.
Speaking of grim, those brothers are the ones mainly responsible for the rest of the world learning about Little Snow White, The Golden Goose, Hansel and Gretel, Rapunzel, Cinderella, The Brave Little Tailor, The Pied Piper, and Rumplestiltskin.
Wilhelm Grimm (left) and Jacob Grim, 1855, painting by Elisabeth Jerichau-Baumann. Photo from Wikipedia. This photo is in public domain.
Frontispiece and title-page, illustrated by Ludwig Emil Grimm of the 1819 edition of Kinder- und Hausmärchen). Source: Toronto Public Library and Wikipedia. This photo is in public domain.
The Deutsche Sagen (German Legends) included stories such as “Pied Piper of Hamelin”, shown here in an illustration by Kate Greenaway. Artist: Kate Greenaway (1846–1901) Engraver: Edmund Evans (1826–1905) Photo from Wikipedia. This photo is in public domain.
But they’re not the only ones who you know about even if you don’t know you know them. Mm-hmm.
In France, Charles Perrault created the classic Tales of Mother Goose including a version of Cinderella and Little Red Riding Hood, as well as Puss In Boots, The Sleeping Beauty in the Wood, and Bluebeard. In Denmark Hans Christian Andersen gained fame with The Little Mermaid, The Ugly Duckling, Thumbelina, The Snow Queen, and many others.
Clearly, ticking off popular Disney movie title after movie title after movie title, one doesn’t have to look very far in today’s entertainment industry to understand how far-reaching the legacies of these stories have been.
Don’t even get us started on how all the happy-ending purty la la renditions have caused a whole generation of people to expect unrealistic life arcs. Which makes them easily offended. Which makes life annoying a lot of times. There’s no scientific data to back that statement, we just feel VURRRY strongly that that is accurate. Just an observation.
We ARE glad certain huge movie makers are creating better female characters who are heroic, brave, and can save their own hide and a couple other people’s as well. And they don’t necessarily have to marry anyone in the end either. You go Elsa and Anna!
Anyway. Hey. Look. Looklookie here. Listen. Don’t mind us. Have we mentioned we’re getting older and hormonal? OF COURSE we’re going to find the bitching in the pudding (by the way, the story behind Jack Horner is kind of cool)…but don’t let us ruin a perfectly amazing opportunity to crack open your favorite Beauty and the Beast illustrated book and read it to a loved one (including yourself) if you’re so inclined. Because truth…mugly truth that is…be told, we’re suckers for happily ever after, so bring on the sanitized versions dear friends. Let’s all d’awwww together.
For more information on the articles cited in this episode and blog post please visit the following:
Check out our Please Don’t Eat the Children episode on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.
And don’t forget to follow us here at themuglytruth.com (click that blue WordPress Follow button on the right side of your screen) so you get notifications every time we post an episode blog! You can also follow The Mugly Truth on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
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