Wash Your Hands!

Yep. We’re throwing our opinions into the manic mix that is Covid-19 hysteria. Amidst illogical shortages of toilet paper, and (slightly less illogical) hand sanitizer everywhere you look, we’re putting our caffeinated heads together to talk (sometimes heatedly…KRIS) about the absolute insanity that has gripped our nation and the globe. Even as of this writing, major sporting events are being cancelled, stocks have nose-dived, and God forbid you try to find paper goods anywhere. So we’re just saying, “stay calm, stay logical and DO. NOT. BEND. TO. THE. MOB. FEAR. MENTALITY!” And just for the record, we’re predicting that hand lotion will be the next big thing to go scarce, because washing our hands 20 times a day while we sing the ABC or Happy Birthday song, PLUS sanitizing, is doing quite the number on our overly germ-free mitts.

Here’s our take on the whole thing, and then we’ll provide links to the sites we mention as well as clear up any of our own missteps in the discussion:

1. Wash your hands. Duh.
2. Fill one of your now-empty hand sanitizer bottles you carry in your purse or car with liquid soap. Toss a bottle of water in your car and boom, you’re the king and/or queen of hand cleanliness. While sanitizer is great in a pinch, it does not, CANNOT, take the place of washing your hands!
3. Don’t shake hands with people. Don’t even fist bump. Alternatives are: elbow bump, wave, jazz hands (dear God, yes please and make sure to upload videos of such interactions to social media). And there’s always the bros “‘Sup?” head-nod or the Spock/Vulcan hand thingy that only a smattering of the population can actually achieve. (Nerdnote: do NOT attempt the Mork version, as this entails the ability to do the Spock hand salute, with the addition of inserting your V into the V of another person who also does the Spock hand thingy, and…you know what…Nanoooo Nanoooo. We’ve jumped the shark). Screw it. Bring back the ol’ bow and curtsy.
4. Don’t hate people who have Covid-19. Don’t. Why would you. Who are these jerks sending these poor people who have the misfortune of getting sick hateful comments? Oh, yeah, the same a$$holes who buy cases of toilet paper to up-price and sell to people who can’t find any BECAUSE THE A$$HOLES BOUGHT IT ALL TO RESELL… aaaaaaaaaaaand INSANITY LOOP! If you want to be pissed at people, THAT’S a good group to start with, along with Nazis, child abusers, people who use all the washing machines in your apartment complex laundry room, coworkers who take the last cup of coffee and don’t make a fresh pot, and people named Kip and Muffy.
5. While we’re at it, don’t hate Asian people thinking they automatically carry the virus because of their race. THAT. IS. RACIST. BULLSHIT. Stop. Stop right now.
6. Cough and sneeze into the crook of your elbow.
7. Don’t wear face masks unless you have symptoms. This saves the masks for people who truly need them. Better yet, if you really need to, you can wear a bandana which is washable. We also suggest whistling the theme song to “The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly” if you do. Please do this. And again, post it to social media, thank you.
8. Don’t touch your face. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHHAHAAAA. Good luck with that, let us know how that goes BECAUSE WE CAN’T STOP TOUCHING OUR FACES.
9. Don’t panic-purchase. Please don’t. You’re feeding the frenzy and being part of the problem if you do this. Case in point: the day after mainstream media picked up social media posts of empty store shelves in Washington state, local stores in Southern California began putting PALLETS of unopened shipments of toilet paper out. Great message. To some it may have said, “we’re ready.” To most it shouted, “WE’RE GONNA RUN OUT BUY AS MUCH AS YOU CAN RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TIME TO UNBOX THIS CRAP IN THE WAREHOUSE!” Ergo, scared consumers caving to panic-purchasing, which led to no toilet paper or hand sanitizer on shelves. All across the country. Within a couple days. See, here’s the thing. Washington state currently has the highest concentration of deaths from Covid-19 with 19 of the total 22 deaths in the United States. So, yeah, we understand the panic Washington residents felt. We do not, however, understand empty shelves in Tustin, California, which is hundreds of miles away. That, dearest friends, is the power of misinformation, mob-fear, and feeding the frenzy. Thankfully at least one Albertson’s in our area has put a limit on purchasing. Logic and cool heads must prevail or we’re going to “oh my” and “dear me” ourselves right over a damned cliff. Just buy what you need and one extra to make you feel better.
10. Fact check what you post on social media. Also ask yourself, is it helpful or is it frenzy-fodder? If it’s factual and helpful, go ahead and post. If it’s not…you’re part of the problem.
11. Make your own damned hand sanitizer using specific types of alcohol (at least 70% or higher alcohol content) and gel (such as aloe vera). You can temper the alcohol odor by adding your favorite essential oil. Good luck finding the ingredients though. #rollingeyes. Here’s a link to a diy hand sanitizer recipe, or if you want to go Breaking Bad on it, check out this link at the WHO’s (World Health Organization). We’re wondering if Everclear will work? Asking for a friend.
12. Stay home if you’re sick. That whole “I’ve never missed a day of work” mentality has to go bye-bye. Sorry. It’s pretty egotistical to bring your drippy noise and raspy cough – masked with OTC meds (if you can find them that is) – to work just to maintain some arcane office record. No one is clapping for you Frank! The office doesn’t think you’re amazing Karen! They all want you to stay the hell away from them. Go to bed. Get better. Now, we get that there are some businesses who don’t give a rat’s behind if you’re sick…if you don’t show you don’t get paid. That sucks. It really does. And we’re sorry you have to work for jerks. Just try to get better, love.

As for links, here you go:

• Kym’s snowflake underwear actually did resemble this photo of a coronavirus. Whoda thunk?
• What’s in a name? Coronavirus aka Covid-19 aka SARS-2. What exactly is everyone talking about? This link to World Health Organization’s article on naming the virus helps clear this little conundrum up.
• Influenza is deadlier? Looks like it, according to this CDC chart. And be sure to read this paragraph a couple times to really let it sink in: “CDC estimates that influenza has resulted in between 9 million – 45 million illnesses, between 140,000 – 810,000 hospitalizations and between 12,000 – 61,000 deaths annually since 2010.”
• Covid-19 asymptomatic issues explained here, by the University of Minnesota Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy.
• Interactive map. This is a great interactive map by Johns Hopkins CSSE updating the numbers of cases, recoveries and deaths worldwide. Do the math. The numbers show recovery rate is much higher than the death rate globally. EDIT 19 March 2020: We have updated the link for the map to go directly to the Johns Hopkins Coronavirus Resource Center in order to provide a safe, direct link to the source. Please be wary of sites claiming to have a link to the map as they may have possible malware attached. You can find more information about this by going to Snopes.com.
• Mythbusters! Read this WHO article which debunks many myths currently being put out there.
• Hotter countries spared? While President Trump recently claimed we could be seeing a drop in cases by April as weather warms up, scientists are conflicted about the apparent reality that countries with warmer climates, such as India, aren’t being hit with these types of viruses as much as regions with colder weather. Read more about this theory in this article.
• Hoaxes! Here is the Al Jazeera article talking about the misinformation spread by mainstream news media based on social media posts.
• Baby, It’s Not Me, It’s You. For the Washington Post article about conspiracy theories that the US is being blamed by some other countries (ahem, Chiiiiiiiiiiina??), go here.
• Bill and Melinda’s Excellent Adventure. To found out just how much Bill and Melinda Gates actually spend to help others, check this link out.
• Hip Cool Conspiracies. For the Rolling Stone article listing their favorite conspiracy theories and hoaxes, go here.
• Oh, Rush. Here’s a link to the Washington Post article to back up Kris’ statement that Rush Limbaugh is trying to blow this all off as a weaponized threat to destroy Trump. Don’t come at us.
• More fact-checking. And here’s a bonus fact-check article from The Guardian for your edification.
• Last but not least. We couldn’t find the article Kris mentioned reading (she thought it was from the CDC) about what the Coronavirus does once you’ve got it, but here’s a National Geographic article that is very similar (and may even be the same article, now we’ve read through it). It’s to educate you. If you’re prone to overreaction, panic, or hypochondria, maybe you should skip this one. But if you’re interested in how Covid-19 affects the body, it’s an interesting read.

Check out The Mugly Truth Podcast’s episode “Wash Your Hands!” on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Libsyn, Pocket Cast, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Then all you need to do is 1) subscribe 2) download and 3) listen! AND!!! 4) If you enjoy what you hear, please leave a rating and a review (pretty please?). The more subscribers and reviews we get, the more opportunities we get to grow this podcast and bring you richer content.

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© The Mugly Truth 2020 and © The Mugly Truth Podcast 2020. All rights reserved.
Intro and outro music, “Clever as a Fox”  by Espresso Music through premiumbeats.com.
Featured photo Pixabay on Pexels.com.