What’s In a Name?

Happy Tuesday! Today Kris and Kym dive just a smidge into the wide world of weird baby names. We will say when William Shakespeare wrote his famous line, “what’s in a name?” he probably had no idea how many people just wouldn’t care…or perhaps care a bit too much. We could have spent hours just reading list after list of interesting celebrity offspring names because there are a TON of them.

Kinda curious…is it part of the fame contract that when you have a kid, you must name them anything but normal old John, Jessica, Chris or Mary?

We get it. So many names are boring and overused…and admittedly we think it’s cool to go off the beaten path. Some famous baby name announcements are pretty badass (like YouTube sensation Colleen Ballinger’s newborn son Flynn, Brad and Angelina’s Shiloh, or John Legend and Chrissy Tiegen’s Luna Simone), whereas some end up being a bit of a head-scratcher. Huckleberry, anyone?  (Thanks Papa Bear Grylls).

But just in case you think the rich and famous have cornered the market on wild monikers, there are quite a few that show up on the national registry for your average Joe and Jill Parents. Names like Happy, Tyranny, Tesla, Evian, Fanta, Abcde (pronounced Absidy), and Moo.

Oh yes you read that last one correctly.

Moo.  (Seven girls, six boys, according to Huffington Post).

This is the point where our blog goes the opposite of Kanye’s kid.

That would be South.

Seriously. We don’t think it’s too outrageous to say right here what the holy hell were you thinking, Moo’s Mom and Dad? Do you not know how monstrous children can be? Even Daves, Marks and Rachels have a hard time in school. Did you not think naming your child Moo would rain down upon them the very worst Lord of the Flies abuse by their peers from day one of kindergarten? Nay. Pre-school? It might not be too far of a reach to surmise that the infant in the hospital crib next to Moo’s did some serious side-eye at the mention of your kid’s name. That sound wasn’t gas. It was a full-blown baby-smirk, replete with mouth-bubbles.

And what about life in high school? Worse (though we’re not sure it’s by much, because….high school)…what about work? Trust-fund babies don’t need to worry much about who reads their resume, but for your average kid, we’re not really sure an employer is going to hire a Moo. Unless it’s a Dairy Queen. Hey now!

Alright. Ok. To each his own. Just because we (and – gonna go out on a limb here – a few other people) might not completely understand the reason behind a name doesn’t mean it isn’t something special for the family. (Perhaps Moo’s family own a farm? Love milk? Have a pet Guernsey named Phil?) At the end of the day, as long as the kid is happy and healthy and confident, then who cares. Penn Jilette’s kid Moxie Crimefighter probably has a wonderful sense of social responsibility (and quite likely an incredibly artistic sense of humor, considering her dad).

But…

…Moo?

Sitting. Sitting. Tapping foot. Face turning purple.

GAAAAAAAAAH. WE’RE SORRY!!! We can’t get past this Moo-nsense.  Those kids…all seven girls and six boys…will someday walk their butts into a courtroom asking for a name change. And when that 13th kid signs his or her new name on that court document, balance will be restored in the Universe. Cool is one thing. Unusual is great. Unique is awesome. Different is so freaking YASS!!!!

But…Moo?

Noo.